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More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. v. 1
Professionals moving to developed countries from developing countries has been on a rise in recent years. Some are of the belief that rich countries are being unfair by luring these qualified professionals while others believe that it is just human behaviour to look for better opportunities. I completely agree with the latter as any person who feels undervalued in any way, feels limited in resources to progress further will look elsewhere but also the same person can come back to contribute to his/her original country from what they have learned and experienced abroad. To begin with, anyone who feels restricted in their line of work in whichever way will look somewhere else. There is nothing wrong with and in fact, it is a trait of improvement. For example, many Indian students opt for Masters in countries like the USA, Canada or Australia as they feel like the syllabus and way of teaching Masters in India is obsolete. So to get a better education a lot of Indians prefer studying Post Graduate from a developed country and usually take a job there. Hence as part of natural selection, they grow their knowledge base in a better place and work there as it seems more fitting. In addition, developed countries being open to talented professionals from developing countries should not be thought as of stealing. Many of these professionals come back to their own country after a couple of years with the knowledge and experience they have gained which is beneficial for the home country. For example, in recent research on top 50 tech companies in India, around 70% of these companies had founders who studied abroad, worked there in big companies and came back to India. But now they have started their own successful companies which are benefiting India both economically and technologically. Therefore, professionals working abroad who come back to their own country actually benefit their country. In conclusion, professionals who move to work in a rich country is a trait of progress and is beneficial for the individual and the home country as well once they are back. This doesn’t mean that rich countries are stealing professionals for their own gain but in fact, is a transaction of mutual gain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
moving to developed
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countries
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been on a rise in recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the belief that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are being unfair by luring these qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
while others believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to look for better opportunities. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter as any person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
undervalued in any way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
limited in resources to progress
further
will look elsewhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the same person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to contribute to his/her original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from what they have learned and experienced abroad.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, anyone
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
restricted in their line of work in whichever way will look somewhere else. There is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with and in fact, it is a trait of improvement.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian students opt for Masters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, Canada or Australia as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
like the syllabus and way of teaching Masters in India is obsolete.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Indians prefer studying Post Graduate from a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
usually
take a job there.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
as part of natural selection, they grow their knowledge base in a better place and work there as it seems more fitting.

In addition
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
being open to talented
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professionals
from developing
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countries
should not be
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thought
as of stealing.
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Many
of these
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professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
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back
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
after a couple of years with the knowledge and experience they have gained which is beneficial for the home
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country
.
For example
, in recent research on top 50 tech
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companies
in India, around 70% of these
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companies
had founders
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who
studied abroad, worked there in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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companies
and came
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back
to India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which are benefiting India both
economically
and
technologically
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
working abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
actually benefit their country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to work in a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a trait of progress and is beneficial for the individual and the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
once they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
. This doesn’t mean that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are stealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact, is a transaction of mutual gain.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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