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02/10/2017With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree? v.1

02/10/2017With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1
As the world is making great strides, the society it creates is also becoming more competitive pressure so people in many countries are spending less time with their families. Young people today face more pressure than ever. As a student, they are under a lot of pressure from studying and a worker is under tremendous pressure, they have to work extra time to complete their workload. This explains why they come home late and don't have time for family members. Besides, the advancement of technology has made virtual communication easier than ever. With just a phone in hand, they can easily chat, make phone calls and stay in touch with family members; This makes them less interested in spending time with family. Firstly, young people who do not spend much time with their family are often vulnerable to the negative impacts of society such as victims, because they have the encouragement and love from their families. The children may be affected by psychological problems. Taking the time to listen to your own problems in the long run can lead to acute anxiety. Plus, long-term anxiety can eventually lead to depression, the so-called silent killer. Therefore, it is worth noting that the findings in Dr. Brenes's research from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry demonstrate the relationship between lack of family interaction and depression. Second, family members who spend less time together can create gaps between children and families. This leads to conflict and unhappy family In general, there are many easy reasons why people spend less time with their families. However, being aware of the cost of living alone is important, as it can lead to many mental problems.
As the world is making great strides, the society it creates is
also
becoming more competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
face more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
than ever. As a student, they are under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from studying and a worker is under tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to complete their workload. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home late and don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Besides
, the advancement of technology has made virtual communication easier than ever. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a phone in hand, they can
easily
chat,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
phone calls and stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members; This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
interested in spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family.

Firstly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
vulnerable to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of society such as victims,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the encouragement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. The children may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by psychological problems. Taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to listen to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems in the long run can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to acute anxiety. Plus, long-term anxiety can
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to depression, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called silent killer.
Therefore
, it is worth noting that the findings in Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brenes
's research from the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry demonstrate the relationship between lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
interaction and depression. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members who spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together can create gaps between children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This leads to conflict and unhappy family

In general
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
easy reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
However
, being aware of the cost of living alone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mental problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay 02/10/2017With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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