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The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v.1

The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v. 1
Recently, higher number of individuals make both international and local trips than ever before. This essay will discuss the reason for this and also highlight two advantages of travelling. One major reason why people go on trips more today is because of science and its applications. Science and technology have opened doors for humans that were previously closed. For example, due to the technological nature of the world today, individuals from a part of the world can get job offers in another part and hence, has to travel. This is possible due to the computer age we are in now, job interviews and applications can all be done online. In addition, technological innovations have introduced options in transportation that did not exist many centuries ago. For instance, the invention of air planes and jets. These innovations have made the world a global village; thereby making travel faster and more convenient. There are two main advantages of travelling. The first is that the traveller will get another perspective of life. For instance, while growing up in Nigeria, I was used to a particular way of life in terms of values and morals. On getting to Europe, one culture shock, I experienced is that what is right and wrong is not written on stone or defined. Also, the second is that the person gets the opportunity to learn another culture. For instance, whenever I visit a country, I try to integrate myself into the society as much as possible by eating and cooking a native food, learning the basics of the country’s language and also buying a local attire. In sum, these are the pros for a traveller. In conclusion, more individuals go on trips today than the past. This essay discussed the reason for this development and also highlighted two pros that going on trips has for a traveller.
Recently, higher number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both international and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay will discuss the reason for this and
also
highlight two advantages of travelling.

One major reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of science and its applications. Science and technology have opened doors for humans that were previously closed.
For example
, due to the technological nature of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, individuals from a part of the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job offers in another part and
hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
travel. This is possible due to the computer age we are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, job interviews and applications can all
be done
online.
In addition
, technological innovations have introduced options in transportation that did not exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries ago.
For instance
, the invention of air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
and jets. These innovations have made the world a global village; thereby making travel faster and more convenient.

There are two main advantages of travelling. The
first
is that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another perspective of life.
For instance
, while growing up in Nigeria, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to a particular way of life in terms of values and morals. On getting to Europe, one culture shock, I experienced is that what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is not written on stone or defined.
Also
, the second is that the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the opportunity to learn another culture.
For instance
, whenever I visit a country, I try to integrate myself into the society as much as possible by eating and cooking a native food, learning the basics of the country’s language and
also
buying a local attire. In sum, these are the pros for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
.

In conclusion
, more individuals go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than the past. This essay discussed the reason for this development and
also
highlighted two pros that going on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
has for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The widespread use if the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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