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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your an v.79

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your an v. 79
The advances in technology have improved human life so drastically that the human race has become the dominant species in the world. However, it seems that they are destroying their own habitat-the Earth at a more rapid speed than ever before. Eminent scientists point out that human activities directly and indirectly cause global warming. This essay will analyze these and propose of solutions to the issue. With regards to man-made sources resulting in the increase of the world temperature, there are two main types of activities. First and foremost, industrial areas are the primary generator of greenhouse gas emission. Indeed, people’s demand for food and goods are exponentially rising, which leads to the flourishing of numerous factories and industrial zones all over the world. The more vigorously these factors act, the more carbon gas is emitted into the environment. Secondly, daily activities of human beings can be the root of the problem. Every step people take on earth can create carbon footprint, which is an index to show how much the planet is suffering from each individual. For example, those travelling by private transport such as cars or motorbike have higher carbon footprint and do more harm to the environment than those commuting in public vehicles. Apparently, with the total of 9 billion human habitants, the Earth has a great burden that is far beyond its capacity. In order to tackle this serious issue, it is urgent that everyone and every organization take immediate measures. For factories and industrial zones, government should impose higher taxes and more rigorous laws and regulations so that they are forced to reduce as much exhaust gases as possible. Besides, scientist may cooperate with these firms to construct and perfect the manufacturing as well as waste processing procedures. For each citizen on Earth, changing the habits can be an effective solution. For instance, people need to consider using public transport instead of personal one so that they can also help lower the amount of greenhouse gas emission. What’s more, moving from eating more animal-sourced food to vegetables may decline the carbon footprint, which is a good sign of being more environmentally friendly. In conclusion, human beings have done so many things to conquer the planet to server their needs. The Earth can be destroyed devastatingly but it will finally survive and thrive. Yet, the human race will not exist once the nature become too harsh to live. Therefore, protecting the environment is saving our future.
The advances in technology have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drastically
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race has become the dominant species in the world.
However
, it seems that they are destroying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
habitat-the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
at a more rapid speed than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Eminent scientists point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities
directly
and
indirectly
cause global warming. This essay will analyze these and propose of solutions to the issue.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made sources resulting in the increase of the world temperature, there are two main types of activities.
First
and foremost, industrial areas are the primary generator of greenhouse gas emission.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s demand for food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are
exponentially
rising, which leads to the flourishing of numerous factories and industrial zones all over the world. The more
vigorously
these factors act, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
gas
is emitted
into the environment.
Secondly
, daily activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings can be the root of the problem. Every step
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint, which is an index to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how much the planet is suffering from each individual.
For example
, those travelling by private transport such as cars or motorbike have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint and do more harm to the environment than those commuting in public vehicles.
Apparently
, with the total of 9 billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
habitants, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
has a great burden
that is
far beyond its capacity.

In order to tackle this serious issue, it is urgent that everyone and every organization take immediate measures. For factories and industrial zones,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose higher taxes and more rigorous laws and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
as much exhaust gases as possible.
Besides
, scientist may cooperate with these firms to construct and perfect the manufacturing
as well
as waste processing procedures. For each citizen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
, changing the habits can be an effective solution.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to consider using public transport
instead
of personal one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lower the amount of greenhouse gas emission. What’s more, moving from eating more animal-sourced food to vegetables may decline the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of being more
environmentally
friendly.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to conquer the planet to server their needs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
devastatingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
finally
survive and thrive.
Yet
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race will not exist once the nature become too harsh to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
, protecting the environment is saving our future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your an v. 79

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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