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THERE IS GROWING EVIDENCE THAT MAN-MADE ACTIVITIES ARE MAKING GLOBAL TEMPERATURES HIGHER. WHAT MIGHT BE THE MAN-MADE CAUSES OF TEMPERATURES RISING? HOW SHOULD WE DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM? GIVE REASONS FOR YOUR ANSWER AND INCLUDE ANY RELEVANT EXAMPLES FROM YOUR OWN KNOWLEDGE OR EXPERIENCE v.4

THERE IS GROWING EVIDENCE THAT MAN-MADE ACTIVITIES ARE MAKING GLOBAL TEMPERATURES HIGHER. WHAT MIGHT BE THE MAN-MADE CAUSES OF TEMPERATURES RISING? HOW SHOULD WE DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM? 4
Nowadays, there have been ongoing debate about role of adverts in the society. some beleive that it give us the products infomration which may be benefitial to us, while I argue that often advetising leads us to purchase product which may be not required. In this essay, I will discuss relavent reasons and five supporting examples. Examining the later view, primary argument supporters would put forward is that marketing deparment of the companies focus on specific age group to increase their revenue. Adverts, for example, contain image of cartoons and chocolates which attract children to buy chololates or sugary products. This lead them for the obesity in very young age. Furthermore, there are a plethora of products marketing such as pizza, burger or coke, could be unhealthy for one. Thus, promoting the product might lead a person for the health related issues. In addition to above mentioned points, there are many advertisings where one cannot confirm the facts. A good example of this is body cream for fareness. In reality, no one can get fareness in just four weeks as shown in the promo. On top of that, multinational companies are using popular actors, soportmen, or social media influencer to promote their products. This kind of marketing attract thier fan following and huge amount of the people. Each influencer has minimum of few millon follower on social media platform and targeting this group has became easy by posting a post, for instance. To conclude, while many people vary thier opinion about this encouragment from advertising, I strongly believe that none can verify facts and figures behind this adverts by seeing a minute video. These are just promos which could help compay to increase their top line.
Nowadays, there have been ongoing debate about role of adverts in the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that it give us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Possible spelling mistake found.
infomration
which may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitial
to us, while I argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake found.
advetising
leads us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which may be not required. In this essay, I will discuss
Possible spelling mistake found.
relavent
reasons and five supporting examples.

Examining the later view, primary argument supporters would put forward is that marketing
Possible spelling mistake found.
deparment
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
focus on specific age group to increase their revenue. Adverts,
for example
, contain image of cartoons and chocolates which attract children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
chololates
or sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This lead them for the obesity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
Furthermore
, there are a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
marketing such as pizza, burger or coke, could be unhealthy for one.
Thus
, promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
might lead a person for the health related issues.

In addition
to above mentioned points, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
where one cannot confirm the facts. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is body cream for
Possible spelling mistake found.
fareness
. In reality, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
fareness
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
four weeks as shown in the promo.
On top of that
, multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using popular actors,
Possible spelling mistake found.
soportmen
, or social media influencer to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This kind of marketing attract
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
fan following and huge amount of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Each influencer has minimum of few
Possible spelling mistake found.
millon
follower on social media platform and targeting this group has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
easy by posting a post,
for instance
.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
opinion about this
Possible spelling mistake found.
encouragment
from advertising, I
strongly
believe that none can verify facts and figures behind this adverts by seeing a minute video. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
promos which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
compay
to increase their top line.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay THERE IS GROWING EVIDENCE THAT MAN-MADE ACTIVITIES ARE MAKING GLOBAL TEMPERATURES HIGHER. WHAT MIGHT BE THE MAN-MADE CAUSES OF TEMPERATURES RISING? HOW SHOULD WE DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM? 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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