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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.12

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 12
Being happy brings joy to life. Many people believe that being wealthy means that it provides happiness for sure, but in the real world it is not always guaranteed as the happiness of a person depends on many factors. I agree that a rich person can enjoy his life by opting for luxury things in his life. However, it may not definitely bring happiness to life if he has a poor health condition. On the one hand, If an individual has a lot of money they can buy the things they want and find satisfaction in it. Nowadays, there are many goods available that bring satisfaction to individuals while using them. Many people feel pleasure in buying the things that excite them and feel happy when they have enough money to buy the commodity. For instance, people who are working in the Information technology field are feeling happy because they earn more salary and they can be able to get anything that they need easily. On the other hand, Being healthy brings happiness and feel content in the life. If a person is healthy and has enough money to survive his life can guarantee happiness than a person who has a lot of wealth but has a poor health condition. Even though the person has more money, but he cannot enjoy even a single meal or he can be happy if he is suffering from several diseases. For example, Many wealthy people these days are obese and has high sugar levels are always nervous that they might get coronary heart disease. In conclusion, I agree that having money sufficiently can bring happiness as it provides the pleasure of buying things, but happiness is not guaranteed on wealth as it will depend on other factors as well such as having good health conditions.
Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
joy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that being wealthy means that it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for sure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the real world it is not always guaranteed as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can enjoy his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by opting for luxury things in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, it may not definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if he has a poor health condition.

On the one hand, If an individual has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things they want and find satisfaction in it. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
available that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
satisfaction to individuals while using them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel pleasure in buying the things that excite them and feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the commodity.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working in the Information technology field are feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they earn more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salary and
they can be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything that they need
easily
.

On the other hand
, Being healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and feel content in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is healthy and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has a poor health condition.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he cannot enjoy even a single
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
meal or
he can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
if he is suffering from several diseases.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are obese and has high sugar levels are always nervous that they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
coronary heart disease.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
sufficiently
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
as it provides the pleasure of buying things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not guaranteed on wealth as it will depend on other factors
as well
such as having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health conditions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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