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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main reasons of it? How can we deal with the possible causes? v.2

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main reasons of it? How can we deal with the possible causes? v. 2
We have seen a colossal rise in the density of crimes and in recent years, it has become a moot issue. This essay will discuss the main factors that are responsible for inducing offences and will also put forward some solutions for this perennial problem. Socioeconomic factors are one of the cardinal causes in burgeoning the rate of evil deeds, which includes cultural and racial discrimination, inequality, lack of education, poor leadership and so on. Due to no access of schools and colleges, especially in far flung areas, poor people follow the path of committing crimes. To epitomize, less education amenities lead to unemployment and thereby resulting in poor masses get started indulging in offences like trafficking and robbery. Hence the amount of bad happenings is ameliorating day by day. Admittedly, there are several pragmatic measures to escape the offenders from their dorm life. Firstly, the government should intend to apprize the populace regarding the detrimental effects of crimes by organising awareness camps in countryside and urban areas. Secondly, extra-mural classes by the ministry of education ought to be given to teenagers in order to make them aware pertinent to self respect and value of society. In conclusion, it is inferred that ever increasing crime rate has become a massive threat. Both government and individuals should proactively be involved in making prudent decisions to combat this issue by knowing its dire effects.
We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a colossal rise in the density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and in recent years, it has become a moot issue. This essay will discuss the main factors that are responsible for inducing
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
and will
also
put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for this perennial problem.

Socioeconomic factors are one of the cardinal causes in burgeoning the rate of evil deeds, which includes cultural and racial discrimination, inequality, lack of education, poor leadership and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Due to no access of schools and colleges,
especially
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
far flung
areas, poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow the path of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. To epitomize, less education amenities lead to unemployment and thereby resulting in poor masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
indulging in
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
like trafficking and robbery.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
happenings is ameliorating day by day.

Admittedly
, there are several pragmatic measures to escape the offenders from their dorm life.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should intend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
apprize
the populace regarding the detrimental effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
awareness camps in countryside and urban areas.
Secondly
, extra-mural classes by the ministry of education ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware pertinent to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self respect
and value of society.

In conclusion
, it
is inferred
that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has become a massive threat. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals should
proactively
be involved
in making prudent decisions to combat this issue by knowing its dire effects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main reasons of it? How can we deal with the possible causes? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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