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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.2

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2
The amount of happiness a person feels in his lifespan depends on his perception of the world’. In todays competitive world where everyone is turning their life into the robotic cycle of eat-work-sleep-repeat, we depend a lot on our bank balances to seek joy, rather, be a luxurious shopping reward or a few days at a remote island to break the cycle or other options that can be easily bought using the monetised version of our hard work. We can also impress new friends easily when we have a luxurious option to lure them in, also with todays digital world if you have money you might never run out of the company or even beautification options which lie just beyond an online payment and a click. The list is long and wealth definitely gives a wide range options when it comes to happiness but sometimes it is not the only way one can seek happiness. Quite a few times happiness is not dependent on wealth, it is just derived from a menial things we do it our day to day life, the smile on the face of the homeless person when you give him a cup of coffee, spending time with old friends and reminiscing the good old days, a hug that your loved one gives you after a stressful day at work cannot be gained by wealth. Happiness can tend to be like perfection, which never seems to be achieved if we don’t content ourselves with what we have. It is definitely difficult to be happy when poverty daunts on you, but it does not mean, no tears are shed in the mansions of the rich. I would like to conclude by saying Wealth can compliment your happiness, but not guarantee it, as you are the one who needs to embrace the happiness you have.
The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
a person feels in his lifespan depends on his perception of the world’.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
competitive world where everyone is turning their life into the robotic cycle of eat-work-sleep-repeat, we depend a lot on our bank balances to seek joy,
rather
, be a luxurious shopping reward or a few days at a remote island to break the cycle or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
that can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
using the
Possible spelling mistake. 'monetised' is British English.
monetised
version of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. We can
also
impress new friends
easily
when we have a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to lure them in,
also
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
digital world if you have money you might never run out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or even beautification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
which lie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beyond an online payment and a click. The list is long and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
definitely gives a wide range
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way one can seek happiness.

Quite a few times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
derived from a menial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
we do it our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life, the smile on the face of the homeless person when you give him a cup of coffee, spending time with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends and reminiscing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, a hug that your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one gives you after a stressful day at work cannot
be gained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
can tend to be like perfection, which never seems to
be achieved
if we don’t content ourselves with what we have.

It is definitely difficult to be happy when poverty daunts on you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean, no tears
are shed
in the mansions of the rich. I would like
to conclude
by saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealth
can compliment your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not guarantee it, as you are the one who needs to embrace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
you have.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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