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Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v.1

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
In recent decades, people have been increasingly dependent on timber and products that come from logging, hence the need for more trees to be harvested. However, although deforestation can cause untold damages to the environment, there are several measures which, if taken wisely, can lead to at least the stabilization of the situation. To begin with, governments should cooperate to put into place strict controls on logging of trees in forests. As a matter of fact, the logging which does the most considerable harm to the environment is done illegally, and timber smugglers are deforesting the richest woodlands on an unprecedented scale. Such criminal activities should incur severe punishments to discourage loggers from embarking on destroying natural treasures. They should come to recognize that trees and forests are not only pivotal to the well-being of the natural world, but also crucial to the life of both terrestrial and aquatic creatures in many direct and indirect ways. Yet, that does not mean that individuals should refuse to acknowledge their responsibility in contributing to the solution. People, in turn, can try to be less wasteful with their use of timber products. Timber could be replaced in many uses by other materials such as plastic and light metals. Furthermore, many people dispose of their timber-based products such as paper and furniture while they really have enough life in them to be used or reused with the help of some small repair, if they do not want to keep up with the Joneses, of course. More importantly, recycling should be taken seriously as there are many such centers in many cities around the world. Wood and paper pulp produced by recycling can forestall many trees being cut unnecessarily. Finally, utmost care should be taken in manufacturing wood products to not use logs and timber as long as used and recycled wood can be made use of in the process. In summary, living in a world without the forests and major woodlands is impossible as they are key to maintaining balance in the earth's global ecosystem. Both governments and people should shoulder their responsibility to minimize the damages that deforestation can bring about.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
increasingly
dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
timber
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from logging,
hence
the need for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
to
be harvested
.
However
, although deforestation can cause untold damages to the environment, there are several measures which, if taken
wisely
, can lead to at least the stabilization of the situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should cooperate to put into place strict controls on logging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in forests. As a matter of fact, the logging which does the most considerable harm to the environment
is done
illegally
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
timber
smugglers are deforesting the richest woodlands on an unprecedented scale. Such criminal activities should incur severe punishments to discourage loggers from embarking on destroying natural treasures. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to recognize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and forests are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pivotal to the well-being of the natural world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
crucial to the life of both terrestrial and aquatic creatures in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
direct and indirect ways.

Yet
, that does not mean that individuals should refuse to acknowledge their responsibility in contributing to the solution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, in turn, can try to be less wasteful with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
timber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Timber
could
be replaced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
by other materials such as plastic and light metals.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dispose of their timber-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as paper and furniture while they
really
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
life in them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
or reused with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
repair, if they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joneses
,
of course
. More
importantly
, recycling should
be taken
seriously
as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such centers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world. Wood and paper pulp produced by recycling can forestall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
unnecessarily
.
Finally
, utmost care should
be taken
in manufacturing wood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
logs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
timber
as long as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and recycled wood can
be made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of in the process.

In summary, living in a world without the forests and major woodlands is impossible as they are key to maintaining balance in the earth's global ecosystem. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should shoulder their responsibility to minimize the damages that deforestation can bring about.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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