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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting v.22

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.
The society at large encompasses of both the young and old. While it can be argued that youngsters should constantly emulate the path of the adult's others, however, think that teens should challenge what the elderly people follow following the footsteps of older people yield any positive results for the young generation? In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion. It is understandable why some clamour that teenagers should always mimic adults. Firstly, the older ones can easily differentiate between rights and wrongs. Those that say what the youngsters would perceive as normal risks, the older ones can immediately know the dangers involved. Furthermore, the elderly ones have more experience. As one passes through the phases of life, the person acquires all the wisdom and knowledge about it and can easily guide the young ones on the right way to follow, in order to progress and be proficient in endeavours. This is exemplified by my younger brother who followed the footsteps and advice from my grandfather and today, he is the renowned owner of the best selling supermarket in Enugu State. Nevertheless, the world is evolving and there are those who say that teenagers should question what the older people say. To begin, the younger generations have vast knowledge about modernization. There is a wide range of sophisticated technologies which the elderly ones are not familiar with, which if the young ones listen to them, would be redundant about development. In addition, the young ones still have age on their side. To elaborate, they can come up with new ideas, inventions and theories that they would forever be remembered for, rather than following the steps of the adults. For instance, Albert Einstein came up with the idea of making magnets in physics because he followed his thoughts instead of his fathers. Today, he is one of the best Authors if modern physics. To conclude, while some people are of the believe that teenagers should always follow the older people, and some believe otherwise. I am of the stance that, teenagers should choose their own path because the world is rapidly evolving and needs the ideas of the younger generations to blossom.
The society at large encompasses of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. While it can
be argued
that youngsters should
constantly
emulate the path of the adult's others,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teens should challenge what the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow following the footsteps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
yield any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation? In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
opinion.

It is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
clamour
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should always mimic adults.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can
easily
differentiate between rights and wrongs. Those that say what the youngsters would perceive as normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can immediately know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
involved.
Furthermore
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
have more experience. As one passes through the phases of life, the person acquires all the wisdom and knowledge about it and can
easily
guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
on the right way to follow, in order to progress and be proficient in
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
. This
is exemplified
by my younger brother who followed the footsteps and advice from my grandfather and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, he is the renowned owner of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
best selling
supermarket in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enugu
State.

Nevertheless
, the world is evolving and there are those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should question what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the younger generations have vast knowledge about modernization. There is a wide range of sophisticated technologies which the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are not familiar with, which
Did you mean "is"?
if
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
listen to them, would be redundant about development.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
still
have age on their side. To elaborate, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, inventions and theories that they would forever
be remembered
for,
rather
than following the steps of the adults.
For instance
, Albert Einstein came up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of making magnets in physics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he followed his thoughts
instead
of his fathers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, he is one of the best Authors if modern physics.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should always follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe
otherwise
. I am of the stance that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world is
rapidly
evolving and needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of the younger generations to blossom.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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