Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v.1

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 1
It is true that some countries have free access to museums and historic sites for all people regardless the age. There are also countries that have no free access to any of the public sites at all. While I consider both facts as unnecessary extremes, I highly support the idea of fee waivers in such places for children under 18 to boost education level among the youngsters and to broaden their horizons regardless the level of wealth. It is certainly important for all children to gain knowledge without any kind of impediments. While the adults have a financial position to pay for knowledge, the youth does not have the material means to exchange for education. Moreover, granting access for young generation to different sources of information, including museums and historic places, increases the general level of education among the students and the pupils. For instance, in the countries with free access to museums and historic ruins, the observed level of national education is much higher than the level of education in the countries that do not have it, according to the Global Education Survey. Secondly, as young apprentices get more understanding of the world around them through easy access to museums and other cultural sites, they better apprehend the path to follow in their near future. On the contrary, in the countries with no free cultural objects for children a possibility to start a wrong career is much higher than in other countries. For example, in such states the governments spend more money to finance courses, which let people to gain skills other than were learned during the initial formal studies. To conclude, allowing citizens under 18 to freely visit public repositories of cultural heritage does not only aid younger generation to enhance its level of theoretical knowledge, but also to choose right professions. It is beneficial on both the personal and the public levels.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historic sites for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regardless the age. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to any of the public sites at all. While I consider both facts as unnecessary extremes, I
highly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of fee waivers in such places for children under 18 to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
among the youngsters and to broaden their horizons regardless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of wealth.

It is
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all children to gain knowledge without any kind of impediments. While the adults have a financial position to pay for knowledge, the youth does not have the material means to exchange for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
, granting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
for young generation to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources of information, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historic places, increases the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
among the students and the pupils.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and historic ruins, the observed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is much higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that do not have it, according to the Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Survey.

Secondly
, as young apprentices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more understanding of the world around them through easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and other cultural sites, they better apprehend the path to follow in their near future.
On the contrary
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
cultural objects for children a possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
career is much higher than in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in such states the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend more money to finance courses, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
other than
were learned
during the initial formal studies.

To conclude
, allowing citizens under 18 to
freely
visit public repositories of cultural heritage does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aid younger generation to enhance its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of theoretical knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to choose right professions. It is beneficial on both the personal and the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts