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Do you agree or disagree, With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly? v.2

, With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly? v. 2
The 20th and 21st centuries are characterized by all momentous changes they made in human’s lives. Perhaps the most important milestone of these two centuries is the changes which they have made in Technology. There is no doubt that technology has been developed dramatically and a lot of new machines and services have been introduced in recent decades. Although some people are in the conviction that technology has not significant effects on learning, I am strongly believe that developments of technology facilitate the process of learning due to abundance of sources and feasibility to learn always and everywhere. First and foremost, technology provides a vast range of materials for students and teachers. Undoubtedly, one of the most significant inventions in recent decades is computer. Indeed, computer systems have revolutionized educational systems profoundly. Classroom computers open up a whole new world of telecommunication, allowing students to access national and worldwide educational websites. Immediate access to current materials enables students to respond, analyze, read and digest educational content that isn' t available in most textbooks or at least hasn' t made it to print yet. Furthermore, High speed internet enables students with diverse viewpoints from different parts of the world share ideas. In my own experience, when I was student I always had difficult times in math exam’s nights because when I ran into a problem, nobody can clarify concepts for me and I was overwhelmed by stress; however, nowadays students ask their questions in math forums and discuss about possible solutions. Also, Not only can they enjoy their teacher’s valuable experiences but also they can broaden their horizons by attending in online courses. Consequently, students’ performance in their academic studies is raised due to the development of technology. In addition, technology provides with students an opportunity to study always and whenever they want. As a matter of fact, today technology has progressed to a point where it is possible to accomplish a number of objectives with much greater ease than the past. Take the case of smartphones. Students can install educational applications on their phones and review materials in the way to their destination. Therefore they can use their time efficiently when being stuck in heavy traffic jams. as a matter of fact, in the past students had to go to the library or institutes to gathering required information and this process wasted their time, whereas now students can stay home and acquire a lot of information by getting online and surfing Net without spending money. As a result, technology makes smooth the process of student’s learning.
The 20th and 21st centuries
are characterized
by all momentous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
they made in human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Perhaps the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
milestone of these two centuries is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which they have made in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
been developed
dramatically
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new machines and services have
been introduced
in recent decades. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has not significant effects on learning, I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that developments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
facilitate the process of learning due to abundance of sources and feasibility to
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'learn'.
learn always
and everywhere.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides a vast range of materials for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers.
Undoubtedly
, one of the most significant inventions in recent decades is computer.
Indeed
, computer systems have revolutionized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
systems
profoundly
. Classroom computers open up a whole new world of telecommunication, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to access national and worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
websites. Immediate access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
materials enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to respond, analyze, read and digest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
content that
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t available in most textbooks or at least
Possible spelling mistake found.
hasn&
#039; t made it to print
yet
.
Furthermore
, High speed internet enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with diverse viewpoints from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
I always had difficult times in math exam’s nights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when I ran into a problem, nobody can clarify concepts for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I
was overwhelmed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
;
however
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ask their questions in math forums and
Did you mean simply "discuss possible"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about possible
solutions.
Also
, Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they enjoy their teacher’s valuable experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can broaden their horizons by attending in online courses.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
performance in their academic studies
is raised
due to the development of technology.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
an opportunity to
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'study'.
study always
and whenever they want. As a matter of fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has progressed to a point where it is possible to accomplish a number of objectives with much greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
than the past. Take the case of smartphones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can install
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
applications on their phones and review materials in the way to their destination.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their time
efficiently
when
being stuck
in heavy traffic jams.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a matter of fact, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had to go to the library or institutes to gathering required information and this process wasted their time, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can stay home and acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information by getting online and surfing Net without spending money.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
smooth the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
learning.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay , With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly? v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
426 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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