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It is more important to read and watch news presented by people whose opinion is different from your own view than by people whose opinion are similar to yours. v.2

It is more important to read and watch news presented by people whose opinion is different from your own view than by people whose opinion are similar to yours. v. 2
At the turn of the new century, with the development of human’s modern society and galloping rate of science and technology, more and more people tend to keep abreast of daily events. Actually, there are unlimited ways to get aware of news such as the internet, radio, and television. Although some people adhere to this belief that it is better watching news presented by people with similar perspective, I would prefer being exposed to the news with distinctive viewpoints since it broadens knowledge and develops critical thinking skill. The first aspect to point out is that what provokes people to be exposed news with a distinctive opinion is expanding their horizon. In fact, one of the rigors of modern hectic life is that people need to acquire a vast range of proper information to make rational and immediate decisions for having promising future, so without shadow of doubt they should listen or watch the news which is opposite to their perspective. Not only does distinctive news open a new window to people’s mind, but also it inspires them to assess the accuracy of their beliefs. Take a case of a person who has positive opinions about one of the president candidates and make the decision to vote him for instance. Actually, hearing negative opinions about his favorite candidate motivates him to gain more information about him from trustworthy sources and analyze them in order to make the best choice. A further more subtle point is that improving critical thinking skills is another remarkable benefit of hearing news which is completely different with our perspectives. As a matter of fact, people’s attitudes toward lifestyle, societies’ rules and so forth are significantly different from person to person; therefore if they cannot listen to opposite beliefs patiently, they will run into a huge problem and have trouble in socializing with other people easily. To illustrate more, consider a person who cannot tolerate distinctive opinions. This person neither can convey his valuable information nor get persuaded by other people with different ideas. Hardly does he spend time and share ideas; so he little by little can fortify his critical thinking by being imposed opposite news. He allocates his time to a person with a different idea to elaborate his ideas and then think about them preciously. Finally, he feels satisfied with his behavior On the whole, according to the above-mentioned points and details, it is crystal-clear (obvious) that a person can expand his knowledge and strengthen his critical thinking by being exposed opposite news and beliefs. It is high time we stopped overlooking the fact that a person who has stubborn personality can make progress in his life. In fact, how people who suffer lack of patience can expand their knowledge and fortify their critical thinking? Undoubtedly, answer of this question is being exposed news with distinctive perspective.
At the turn of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
century, with the development of human’s modern society and galloping rate of science and technology, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Actually, there
are unlimited
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
such as the internet, radio, and television. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adhere to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
that it is better watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
presented by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
, I would prefer being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinctive
viewpoints since it broadens knowledge and develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

The
first
aspect to point out is that what provokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is expanding their horizon. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, one of the rigors of modern hectic life is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to acquire a vast range of proper information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
rational and immediate decisions for having promising future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without shadow of doubt they should listen or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
open a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
window to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it inspires them to assess the accuracy of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
. Take a case of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
about one of the president candidates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the decision to vote him
for instance
. Actually, hearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
about his favorite candidate motivates him to gain more information about him from trustworthy sources and analyze them in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the best choice.

A
further
more subtle point is that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is another remarkable benefit of hearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspectives
. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attitudes toward lifestyle, societies’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth are
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
;
therefore
if they cannot listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
patiently
, they will run into a huge problem and have trouble in socializing with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
. To illustrate more, consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot tolerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
neither can convey his valuable information nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
persuaded by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
. Hardly does he spend time and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Did you maybe mean "buy"?
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
can fortify his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
by
being imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. He allocates his time to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
to elaborate his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about them
preciously
.
Finally
, he feels satisfied with his behavior

On the whole
, according to the above-mentioned points and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, it is crystal-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
(obvious) that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can expand his knowledge and strengthen his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
by being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
. It is high time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
overlooking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has stubborn personality can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
progress in his life. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer lack of patience can expand their knowledge and fortify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
?
Undoubtedly
, answer of this question is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
85Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay It is more important to read and watch news presented by people whose opinion is different from your own view than by people whose opinion are similar to yours. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
474 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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