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Agree or disagree? Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with the modern buildings? v.2

Agree or disagree? Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with the modern buildings? v. 2
At the turn of the new century, in modern societies, with the development of humans’ modern society more and more people tend to flourish their cities. As a matter of fact, to satisfy such a need they need to establish new building such as factories, company, and so on. Therefore, they prefer destroy these building and constructing new building for developing their cities. Although some people agree with this functional, I believe that the society needs to preserve their historical building because of preserving culture and attracting tourist. First and foremost, maintaining culture is a significant advantage of being historic building. It goes without saying that every nation has its own custom which presents the culture of it. In fact, as far as I am concerned that every person depends to a culture and he should get familiar with culture of his antecedents because it can help the person views life from a different perspective. A prominent psychologist in my country claims that when children can find their personality and their goals in their life that they aware of their cultures and customs. As a result, preserving old and tradition construction in a society leave profound impacts on its people’s lives. Another subtle point is that, attracting tourist can be considering another impact of preserving old building. It is crystal-clear that, nowadays one of the most important ways for flourishing a country is assimilating tourist because they can bring prospers to society. According to recent research done by archeologists in my country conducted that exiting old building can boom economical conditional with the present of people who are belong other countries. For example, I live in a historic city that there are a lot of old buildings such as palaces, gardens, museums, and so on. Every year a large number of tourists enter to my city for visiting these building. In fact, they spend lots of money for entering these building and buy traditional handicrafts, so they can cause develop in this city. Hence, what has made old building so valuable is the vast range of attracting tourist. In a nutshell, it is obvious that the modern society has gone through some changes by the enormous impact of tending to modernism. Although constructing new buildings can help prosper a nation, destroy old buildings is not a good solution. In fact, how people who live in a modern society can familiar with their culture in the past? How young people can cognize of their personality? How can a city attract new tourist? Undoubtedly, answers all of these question are conserving old building.
At the turn of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
century, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, with the development of humans’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to flourish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, to satisfy such a need they need to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
such as factories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, they prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
for developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this functional, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs to preserve their historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and attracting tourist.

First
and foremost, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is a significant advantage of being historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. It goes without saying that every nation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
custom which presents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of it. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, as far as I
am concerned
that every person
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
to a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of his antecedents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the person views life from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective. A prominent psychologist in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
claims that when children can find their personality and their goals in their life that they aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and customs.
As a result
, preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and tradition construction in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
profound impacts on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Another subtle point is that, attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
can be considering another impact of preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. It is crystal-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, nowadays one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ways for flourishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is assimilating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can bring prospers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. According to recent research done by archeologists in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
conducted that exiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can boom economical conditional with the present of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a historic city that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as palaces, gardens, museums, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Every year
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
enter to my city for visiting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, they spend lots of money for entering these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
traditional handicrafts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can cause develop in this city.
Hence
, what has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
valuable is the vast range of attracting tourist.

In a nutshell, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
by the enormous impact of tending to modernism. Although constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
prosper a nation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can familiar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in the past? How young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cognize of their personality? How can a city attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
?
Undoubtedly
, answers all of
Did you mean "this question" or "these questions"?
these question
are conserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with the modern buildings? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
431 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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