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You recently red an article in newspaper and come to know that article was written by your freiend. Since you don't have the contact details for your friend. Write a letter to newspaper and mention. - What is the article about? - Why you need contact d v.1

You recently red an article in newspaper and come to know that article was written by your freiend. Since you don't have the contact details for your friend. Write a letter to newspaper and mention. - What is the article about? - Why you need contact d v. 1
Many people have a perception that advancement in technology, making them more connected with others, while some have opposite views. I think in the contemporary era, technology plays an important role and bring different people in touch with each other. In this essay, I will give my view with an appropriate example. On the one hand, Electronics gadgets brought so many convenient changes in everyone's life. Moreover, it has its own benefits to living humans. For example, due to Social Media such as Facebook, Instagram, Google Duo lots of human beings can keep in touch with their distant relatives and some school friends by Video calls and also with online chat. Furthermore it's also due to new and advance gym equipments people prefer to go to various health clubs, so they can stay fit and there also they meet different persons and make friends there too. According to one survey, Electronically items, play praise worthy role during a Covid19 situation in India during Lockdown when a billion of people stay indoors. On the other hand, there are also some advance effects of it. To begin with, some parents believe that due to extreme use of these gadgets their children are getting isolated as they involve themselves in games such as PubG and candy crush, etc. , so much that they forget their surroundings. Additionally, Due to using technique humans are getting physical ailments due to their dependency on these. According to one prestige survey by Oxford university, Old people, who living their lives without using these gadgets are more active and healthy. To recapitulate, Electronic devices are blessing for many others who wants to close with relatives and even with children who study abroad, only if they can use it in a proper way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a perception that advancement in technology, making them more connected with others, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have opposite views. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the contemporary era, technology plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in touch with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In this essay, I will give my view with an appropriate example.

On the one hand, Electronics gadgets brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
convenient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in everyone's life.
Moreover
, it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits to living humans.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to Social Media such as Facebook, Instagram, Google Duo lots of human beings can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their distant relatives and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school friends by Video calls and
also
with online chat.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it's
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to new and advance gym equipments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to go to various health clubs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can stay fit and there
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
persons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends there too. According to one survey,
Electronically
items, play praise worthy role during a
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid19
situation in India during Lockdown when a billion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay indoors.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advance effects of it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these gadgets their children are getting isolated as they involve themselves in games such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
PubG
and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
candy crush
, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that they forget their surroundings.
Additionally
,

Due to using technique humans are getting physical ailments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their dependency on these. According to one prestige survey by Oxford university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who living their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without using these gadgets are more active and healthy.

To recapitulate, Electronic devices are blessing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'others' should be used.
wants
to close with relatives and even with children who study abroad,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You recently red an article in newspaper and come to know that article was written by your freiend. Since you don't have the contact details for your friend. Write a letter to newspaper and mention. - What is the article about? - Why you need contact d v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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