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People are getting married and having their children in their thirty's rather than in young age. Do you think its positive or negative development. v.1

People are getting married and having their children in their thirty's rather than in young age. Do you think its positive or negative development. v. 1
While gap years are increasingly popular, they continue to be rather controversial because the benefits are hard to quantify exactly. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss them now. On the one hand, opponents of gap years point to the cost involved in areas such as air fares, accommodation and living expenses. All this money has to come from the student’s family, or even from borrowing to be paid later; thus, not everyone is financially able to go on exciting adventures and explore different cultures and parts of the world. Secondly, it is often said that gay years take a young person’s focus away from studying, and allows them to get involved in distractions such as travelling. Finally, there is a concern over the safety of young people if they are travelling to remote places. Being kidnapped or mugged is a poor start to an academic career, after all. On the other hand, supporters of gap years say that the skills learned outweigh the disadvantages. They highlight the independence and assertiveness that a student will acquire, in areas such as time management and interpersonal skills. They also say that these skills not only leads to building a well-rounded student profile but also to greater career success later in life; thus, cancelling out the costs involved. Furthermore, there are many examples of young people using gap years to achieve something significant, whether in humanitarian work or in a sector of business that interest them. In conclusion, I feel that although gap years may seem like a good way to gain life experience, but without a plan, they can be a setback not only in your education but also financially. This outweighs the possible advantages.
While
gap
years are
increasingly
popular, they continue to be
rather
controversial
because
the benefits are
hard
to quantify exactly. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss them
now
.

On the one hand, opponents of
gap
years point to the cost involved in areas such as air fares, accommodation and living expenses. All this money
has to
come
from the student’s family, or even from borrowing to
be paid
later;
thus
, not everyone is
financially
able to go on exciting adventures and explore
different
cultures and parts of the world.
Secondly
, it is
often
said that gay years take a young person’s focus away from studying, and
allows
them to
get
involved in distractions such as travelling.
Finally
, there is a concern over the safety of young
people
if they are travelling to remote places.
Being kidnapped
or mugged is a poor
start
to an academic career,
after all
.

On the other hand
, supporters of
gap
years say that the
skills
learned
outweigh
the disadvantages. They highlight the independence and assertiveness that a student will acquire, in areas such as time management and interpersonal
skills
. They
also
say that these
skills
not
only
leads to building a well-rounded student profile
but
also
to greater career success later in life;
thus
, cancelling out the costs involved.
Furthermore
, there are
many
examples of young
people
using
gap
years to achieve something significant, whether in humanitarian work or in a sector of business that interest them.

In conclusion
, I feel that although
gap
years may seem like a
good
way to gain life experience,
but
without a plan, they can be a setback not
only
in your education
but
also
financially
. This outweighs the possible advantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People are getting married and having their children in their thirty's rather than in young age. Do you think its positive or negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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