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You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v.1

You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v. 1
Over the last decade, the amount of children who are obese have risen to about 20% in the western world. This essay will discuss some reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of the negative trend. The main cause of this problem is poor diet, which can be attributed to the geometric increase in the number of fast food restaurants. For example, on almost every high street there is a MacDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut, whose pre prepared dishes has been proven to be very unhealthy (especially full of fatty acids and cholesterol) with their target advertisement towards children, consequently making them the majority of their customers. In addition, unhealthy meals can also be eaten at home and not necessarily at ready - made meal restaurants. Such home meals include processed edibles that are easy for busy, career-seeking parents to give their children. The effect of being overweight has Been and will continue to be serious. Firstly, there has been a significant rise in the number of health related diseases amongst children, especially diabetes. This debilitating illness means a child has to be injected with insulin for the rest of his life. Not only this, these very obese children often experience bullying and insults from their colleagues in school, which can tilt them towards depression and suicide. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity in children and a variety of negative effects. The society (particularly the west) has to put up regulations and policies to curb this deterioration.
Over the last decade, the amount of
children
who are obese have risen to about 20% in the western world. This essay will discuss
some
reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of the
negative
trend.

The main cause of this problem is poor diet, which can
be attributed
to the geometric increase in the number of
fast
food restaurants.
For example
, on almost every high street there is a MacDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut, whose
pre
prepared dishes has
been proven
to be
very
unhealthy (
especially
full of fatty acids and cholesterol) with their target advertisement towards
children
,
consequently
making them the majority of their customers.
In addition
, unhealthy meals can
also
be eaten
at home and not
necessarily
at ready
-
made meal restaurants. Such home meals include processed edibles that are easy for busy, career-seeking parents to give their children.

The effect of being overweight has

Been and will continue to be serious.
Firstly
, there has been a significant rise in the number of health related diseases amongst
children
,
especially
diabetes. This debilitating illness means a child
has to
be injected
with insulin for the rest of his life. Not
only
this, these
very
obese
children
often
experience bullying and insults from their colleagues in school, which can tilt them towards depression and suicide.

In conclusion
, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity in
children
and a variety of
negative
effects. The society (
particularly
the west)
has to
put up regulations and policies to curb this deterioration.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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