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You learnt that there is self-funded vet hospital that cures various illness of animals free of cost. This hospital is struggling to raise funds these days. Write a letter to leading newspaper editor appealing the community for donation. In your letter1)Ex v.1

You learnt that there is self-funded vet hospital that cures various illness of animals free of cost. This hospital is struggling to raise funds these days. Write a letter to leading newspaper editor appealing the community for donation. In your letter1)Ex v. 1
Allocating more money for sciences instead of other fields for the government to enhance the country's development is clearly important since sciences have an important role in today's society. However, it also has its limitation when talking about other fields like economics, politics, art, philosophy, and so on. Though those fields are related to one another, but the government should consider all subjects equally. From ancient Greek until the advent of modern sciences, there are a lot of innovations which have been discovered by the scientists and also have made a significant impact in various countries. For instance, in the 18th century, when Maxwell discovered his new equation, the overwhelming industrial sectors in the U. K were changed suddenly because they worked by using the technology behind Maxwell's discoveries, then it turned the British to work more efficiently. And it also transformed England to be the most advanced country in the world. In addition, China's progress in the 21th century is achieved by strengthening their scientific research, afterwards they can build their own Sillicon-Valley in Shenzen and it also boosts up their economic growth. Furthermore, sciences are definitely fundamental in the terms of the nation's progress. Conversely, making sciences as the priority of the government will be difficult for developing country because they require huge economic supports. And also, considering sciences' boundary, then the government cannot rule out other areas. For example, when the Romans conquered the world they were using their philosophy rather than the sciences. It also happened to the Chinese, before they decided to set their focus on the sciences, they already have huge political capabilities and strong work ethics. So science alone is not enough to build a nation, it also needs strong characteristics, political influences, and also economic factors. To sum up, I would concede that the government should keep maintaining the balance between the sciences and other fields in order to improve the capability of the country in all aspects by allocating the money to all subjects.
Allocating more money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to enhance the country's development is
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society.
However
, it
also
has its limitation when talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
, politics, art, philosophy, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Though those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
are related
to one another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider all subjects
equally
.

From ancient Greek until the advent of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
innovations which have
been discovered
by the scientists and
also
have made a significant impact in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, in the 18th century, when Maxwell discovered his new equation, the overwhelming industrial sectors in the U. K were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
suddenly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they worked by using the technology behind Maxwell's discoveries, then it turned the British to work more
efficiently
. And it
also
transformed England to be the most advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world.
In addition
, China's progress in the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century
is achieved
by strengthening their scientific research, afterwards they can build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sillicon-Valley
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shenzen
and it
also
boosts up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
are definitely fundamental in the terms of the nation's progress.

Conversely
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
as the priority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will be difficult for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they require huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
supports. And
also
, considering sciences' boundary, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas.
For example
, when the Romans conquered the world they were using their philosophy
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
. It
also
happened to the Chinese,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they decided to set their focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
, they already have huge political capabilities and strong work ethics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
alone is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to build a nation, it
also
needs strong characteristics, political influences, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factors.

To sum up, I would concede that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintaining the balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the capability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in all aspects by allocating the money to all subjects.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You learnt that there is self-funded vet hospital that cures various illness of animals free of cost. This hospital is struggling to raise funds these days. Write a letter to leading newspaper editor appealing the community for donation. In your letter1)Ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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