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People live in the 21st century are enjoying the better quality of life compared to the people who lived in the previous centuries. To what do you agree or disagree? v.1

People live in the 21st century are enjoying the better quality of life compared to the people who lived in the previous centuries. To what v. 1
For centuries, culture has played a critical role in every society on the globe. Hence, different culture, has different beliefs as well as traditions. Therefore, it is argued that one can conclude others' community and personalities only by their appearances. In my opinion, I partly agree with the statement because I believe one can predict a person's culture, but it is not true for every individual. It is possible to guess a person’s background and nature of their clothes. However, one may not be able to predict their character and values. A person always wearing religious or traditional costumes may reveal their devotional and spiritual nature. A usually decent and formally clad individual portrays simplicity and modesty. Multi-coloured and flashy outfits can indicate a person’s exuberant and lively nature. For example, entertainers and celebrities are often seen wearing gauzy dresses. Also, an odd-coloured, loose-fitted and shabby clothing may be an indicator of a careless attitude. Nevertheless, I feel that outward appearance and looks can be deceptive. It may disguise a person’s true inner self and any malevolent intent. For example, some imposters donning sacred robes and religious symbols may defraud innocent followers. This was evidently seen in the recent criminal cases filed against self-proclaimed saints in India. Moreover, a person’s choice of clothing cannot always be used as a reflection of their character in general. To cite an example, a woman wearing light and short clothes for her comfort may incorrectly be perceived as indecent in some countries. In summary, a person’s style of dressing can be an indicator of their thought patterns, and outlook towards life and culture. It can also show some of their qualities and attributes. However, it would be incorrect to draw a conclusion about someone based on their external appearance.
For centuries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has played a critical role in every society on the globe.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs
as well
as traditions.
Therefore
, it
is argued
that one can conclude others' community and personalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by their appearances. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe one can predict a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not true for every individual.

It is possible to guess a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
background and nature of their clothes.
However
, one may not be able to predict their character and values. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
always wearing religious or traditional costumes may reveal their devotional and spiritual nature. A
usually
decent and
formally
clad individual portrays simplicity and modesty.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Multi-coloured
and flashy outfits can indicate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
exuberant and lively nature.
For example
, entertainers and celebrities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
wearing gauzy dresses.
Also
, an
Possible spelling mistake found.
odd-coloured
, loose-fitted and shabby clothing may be an indicator of a careless attitude.

Nevertheless
, I feel that outward appearance and looks can be deceptive. It may disguise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
true inner self and any malevolent intent.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
imposters donning sacred robes and religious symbols may defraud innocent followers. This was
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the recent criminal cases filed against self-proclaimed saints in India.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
choice of clothing cannot always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a reflection of their character
in general
. To cite an example, a woman wearing light and short clothes for her comfort may
incorrectly
be perceived
as indecent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.

In summary, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
style of dressing can be an indicator of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
patterns, and outlook towards life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their qualities and attributes.
However
, it would be incorrect to draw a conclusion about someone based on their external appearance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People live in the 21st century are enjoying the better quality of life compared to the people who lived in the previous centuries. To what v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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