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Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community sugg v.1

Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community sugg v. 1
With the increase in human population, its actions have had detrimental effects on the animals’ and plants’ species. While some people believe that the damage to the ecosystem cannot be undone, others argue that it is still not too late for corrective measures. In my opinion, national governments still have some chance to rescue the deteriorating ecological system by limiting illegal human activities and learning the concept of coexistence. On the one hand, many assert that humans have done an irreversible damage to the entire ecosystem. The deforestation has permanently taken away the natural habitat of many species which has put the existence of the entire ecological community in jeopardy. For instance, a recent report generated by NATGEO currently has suggested that nearly two thousand endangered species of plants and animals went extinct in the Amazon rainforest as a result of deforestation in the last decade. Thus, humans have no way to bring back that has been lost. On the other hand, many believe that we still have time for corrective actions, and I agree the ecosystem is still capable of recovering itself if human beings control their activities. Firstly, national governments should play a key role in preserving the natural habitats of endangered wildlife. This could be initiated by banning animal hunting for trade benefits such as killings of elephants for ivory. For instance, the kingdom of Saudi Arabia has recently declared a jungle as the Desert Wildlife Sanctuary in which human interference is strictly prohibited. Secondly, humans should learn to live in harmony with wildlife. For example, if people cut trees for energy requirement, they should also plant trees at the same time to give a chance to the nature to recover itself. In conclusion, some strict rules and regulations are required and to obey them to improve the quality of life for every creature of this earth. We still have a chance to minimize the negative impact of human activities on plants and animals.
With the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population, its actions have had detrimental effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants’
species. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the damage to the ecosystem cannot be undone, others argue that it is
still
not too late for corrective measures. In my opinion, national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chance to rescue the deteriorating ecological system by limiting illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities and learning the concept of coexistence.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have done
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "irreversible damage".
an irreversible damage
to the entire ecosystem. The deforestation has
permanently
taken away the natural habitat of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species which has put the existence of the entire ecological community in jeopardy.
For instance
, a recent report generated by
Possible spelling mistake found.
NATGEO
currently
has suggested that
nearly
two thousand endangered species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
went extinct in the Amazon rainforest
as a result
of deforestation in the last decade.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have no way to bring back that has
been lost
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that we
still
have time for corrective actions, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the ecosystem is
still
capable of recovering itself if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings control their activities.
Firstly
, national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should play a key role in preserving the natural habitats of endangered wildlife. This could
be initiated
by banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hunting for trade benefits such as killings of elephants for ivory.
For instance
, the kingdom of Saudi Arabia has recently declared a jungle as the Desert Wildlife Sanctuary in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interference is
strictly
prohibited.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony with wildlife.
For example
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
trees for energy requirement, they should
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
trees at the same time to give a chance to the nature to recover itself.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
are required
and to obey them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life for every creature of this earth. We
still
have a chance to minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community sugg v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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