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You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v.1

You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v. 1
The booming of banking sector made it possible for many users to apply and get easily the credit card with certain limitations. Hence, people make their monthly expenses easily. In my opinion, such facility brings the advantages such as an improve with the standard of living and no cash carrying which outweigh the disadvantages such as being not able to pay on time and hacked. Admittedly, the main drawbacks using credit card increase the risk of being hacked easily. It is true that many end user of plastic money did not know that their card is being hacked by the hackers and put them into the risk to pay at the end. For instance, in India, 55% of the credit card users lodge the complaints to their banks stating that their card is hacked and they are not the one who did unknown costly transactions. Being not able to pay the expenses made by the end user on the due date is another negative side to it. To elucidate, banks always mention the due date of their respective card users for the expenses they made. Hence, many such users are not able to pay on their respective due date and become the defaulter, which affects their credit worthiness. Despite considering above disadvantages, there are numerous advantages. One of a benefit is not carrying cash in the pocket. Such facilities give us a chance not carry plenty cash along with us while travelling or buying any essential need from the shop. Moreover, there are very less chances of being a victim of the crime of robbery or theft. The main positive side to using the credit card is an improvement in the standard of the living. For example, in China, many middle class employed people uses, such facilities to buy household items such as refrigerators, televisions, or washing machines on monthly instalments, which improves their standard. Also, it helps to economy to grow efficiently. In conclusion, although there are negatives for using plastic money instead of cash transactions such as card hacked and an increase in the chance to become defaulter if not paid on time, in my view, many advantages such as less chance being robbed and an improvement in living supersede such negatives.
The booming of banking sector made it possible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
to apply and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
with certain limitations.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their monthly expenses
easily
. In my opinion, such facility brings the advantages such as an
The word 'improve' is not a noun. Did you mean "improvement"?
improve
with the standard of living and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
carrying which outweigh the disadvantages such as being not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
on time and hacked.

Admittedly
, the main drawbacks using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hacked
easily
. It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
of plastic money did not know that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hacked
by the hackers and put them into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
For instance
, in India, 55% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
lodge the complaints to their banks stating that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hacked and
they are not the one who did unknown costly transactions. Being not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the expenses made by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
on the due date is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side to it. To elucidate, banks always mention the due date of their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
for the expenses they made.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
on their respective due date and become the defaulter, which affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
worthiness.

Despite considering above disadvantages, there are numerous advantages. One of a benefit is not carrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
in the pocket. Such facilities give us a chance not carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
along with us while travelling or buying any essential need from the shop.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of being a victim of the crime of robbery or theft. The main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side to using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is an improvement in the standard of the living.
For example
, in China,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
uses
, such facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
household items such as refrigerators, televisions, or washing machines on monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their standard.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to economy to grow
efficiently
.

In conclusion
, although there are negatives for using plastic money
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
transactions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hacked
and an increase in the chance to become defaulter if not paid on time, in my view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages such as less chance
being robbed
and an improvement in living supersede such negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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