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05. 11. 2017You ordered an item on a company website, which should have been delivered the next day, but it never turned up. Write a letter to the manager and say– what was the item– why it was important that you get it immediately– what you suggest t v.1

05. 11. 2017You ordered an item on a company website, which should have been delivered the next day, but it never turned up. Write a letter to the manager and say– what was the item– why it was important that you get it immediately– what you suggest t v. 1
It is said that pupils should be taught more about their fitness and wellbeing in schools. This essay agrees to the statement and will explain the needs of health awareness and the benefits of following a healthy lifestyle. Schools should increase the number of lessons related to health in order to develop the physical and mental status of students. This is because having adequate amount of health educations such as personal hygiene, healthy habits and importance of vegetable and fruit consumption can prevent so many illnesses such as stomach problems, cold and fever, which are popular among students. For instance, washing hands before and after eating the food would put an end to common diseases, so that the absenteeism among students can be reduced and they can perform better in their academic field. Students get many benefits from participating in sports activities, so it is essential that school should encourage and ensure that they involve in physical and sports activities, which can help them to improve their cognitive abilities, physical strength and they can also represent their not only schools as well as nation in national and international sports competitions. Furthermore, they get extra energy and strength to complete their studies more effective way. For example, In China, students are asked to do their regular exercises before entering into classrooms because those activities have helped students attain more success rate than those who did not do anything. In conclusion, teaching children about the importance of fitness, give number of advantages to students and later in society so they can mould a healthy and efficient generation.
It
is said
that pupils should
be taught
more about their fitness and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
in schools. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to the statement and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the needs of health awareness and the benefits of following a healthy lifestyle.

Schools should increase the number of lessons related to health in order to develop the physical and mental status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having adequate amount of health educations such as personal hygiene, healthy habits and importance of vegetable and fruit consumption can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illnesses such as stomach problems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and fever, which are popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, washing hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after eating the food would put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to common diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the absenteeism among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reduced and
they can perform better in their academic field.

Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits from participating in sports activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is essential that school should encourage and ensure that they involve in physical and sports activities, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their cognitive abilities, physical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strength and
they can
also
represent their not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
schools
as well
as nation in national and international sports competitions.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra energy and strength to complete their studies more effective way.
For example
, In China,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are asked
to do their regular exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering into classrooms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those activities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attain more success rate than those who did not do anything.

In conclusion
, teaching children about the importance of fitness, give number of advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and later in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
a healthy and efficient generation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 05. 11. 2017You ordered an item on a company website, which should have been delivered the next day, but it never turned up. Write a letter to the manager and say– what was the item– why it was important that you get it immediately– what you suggest t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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