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nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.6

nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 6
In recent years, people believe that traveling to explore different cultures can be replaced with the usual Internet. Although I believe that studying through the Internet cannot be an alternative to the traditional solution, but I also support that in some cases the Internet can help out. To begin with, it is worth noting that studying the culture of different countries through the magic of progress (the Internet) can be an excellent assistant and has most of the advantages. First, in emergency situations, this replacement is more effective. In other words, provided that a person wants to study the culture of a remote country or at a time when it is impossible to travel. Even if, with the help of travels, the brain perceives information in a different way, thanks to visualization, but when the country is isolated, there is no other choice but to study via the Internet. To illustrate, in compliance with the position of North Korea, the country is completely isolated and there are no flights and the Internet offers an opportunity to study the culture of this country. The second important factor is saving money, because in order to study the country's culture live, a person must work tirelessly for a very long time and he will spend the money earned in a week or a month. As a result, the development of modern technologies such as the Internet can easily introduce a person to different cultures. On the other hand, despite the enormous opportunity that the Internet ensures for exploring other cultures, this does not negate the importance of travel. The most important reason is sensation, because with the help of visualization, emotions and one’s own experience, a person gains more knowledge. Although, when studying culture, people can see a photograph of the Louvre on the Internet, but sometimes the little butterfly that lives in France is remembered much more than a magnificent photograph of the Louvre. For instance, by adhering to research at Harvard University, information is absorbed much faster and remains for a long time in a person’s memory when he sees and gains experience. Another aspect is cultural shock. Therefore, in traditional pool, many tourists often feel a certain barrier when they travel to another country and even if they know everything in this culture, they experience difficulties. Thus, the importance of travel lies in ordinary truths like sensation and experience. In conclusion, according to many people, it is now easy to sit on the couch to study various cultures via the Internet without requiring travel. But I believe that each method of teaching culture has a unique look and can provide different experiences
In recent years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that traveling to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
can
be replaced
with the usual Internet. Although I believe that studying through the Internet cannot be an alternative to the traditional solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
support that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases the Internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is worth noting that studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through the magic of progress (the Internet) can be an excellent assistant and has most of the advantages.
First
, in emergency situations, this replacement is more effective. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, provided that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or at a time when it is impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. Even if, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
, the brain perceives information in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
way, thanks to visualization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is isolated
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
via the Internet. To illustrate, in compliance with the position of North Korea, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is completely isolated and there are no flights and the Internet offers an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is saving money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work
tirelessly
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
he will spend the money earned in a week or a month.
As a result
, the development of modern technologies such as the Internet can
easily
introduce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, despite the enormous opportunity that the Internet ensures for exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, this does not negate the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is sensation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of visualization, emotions and one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
gains more knowledge. Although, when studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a photograph of the Louvre on the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
butterfly that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in France
is remembered
much more than a magnificent photograph of the Louvre.
For instance
, by adhering to research at Harvard University, information
is absorbed
much faster and remains for a long time in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
memory when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
and gains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Another aspect is cultural shock.
Therefore
, in traditional pool,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel a certain barrier when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and even if they know everything in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
difficulties.
Thus
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
lies in ordinary truths like sensation and experience.

In conclusion
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easy to sit on the couch to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
via the Internet without requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that each method of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has a unique look and can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
experiences
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
441 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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