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You have recently joined to a new job. Write a letter to your English-speaking friend. In your letterExplain why u moved from previous jobDescribe your new jobTell your friend any news you want to share v.1

You have recently joined to a new job. Write a letter to your English-speaking friend. In your letterExplain why u moved from previous jobDescribe your new jobTell your friend any news you want to share v. 1
Nowadays, Male's sport shows account for the most of streaming time on TV than Female's. In my opinion, I believe that Women's TV programs should have the equal time like men's. It is clear that Men's TV shows have primarily prioritized. First, since the rating of male's sports is always higher than women's, more viewers mean more profit. Take football as an example, the SEA game football match in 2019 between Vietnam and Thailand, which attracted a million viewers not only Vietnamese but also the people around Asia to watch. The TV producer got back a hundred million from the sponsorships and each view turns on the YouTube channel. While the figure for women’s match was significantly lower. Giving men’s sport a higher priority is, therefore, a wise strategy to earn large profits and attract more investment. However, I would advocate that, The TV producers should extend the streaming time for female's programs. Nowadays, women have an ever more awareness on health, and Television is the easiest approach to transfer the sport's spirit to people, thus women can be inspired by sport programs on TV, and evaluate themselves throughout doing exercises to get healthier in life. Moreover, Women athletes should have a chance to show their talents to the world, with the extended time on TV, they can have more effort to contribute their talents for country's sport. In conclusion, Although men's sport tv shows can make more benefit than those of women, and I am of the opinion that there should be a greater equality in the coverage of men’s and women’s sport.
Nowadays, Male's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
account for the
Consider using "most streaming" or "most of the streaming".
most of streaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on TV than Female's. In my opinion, I believe that Women's TV programs should have the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
's TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have
primarily
prioritized.
First
, since the rating of male's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is always higher than women's, more viewers mean more profit. Take football as an example, the SEA game football match in 2019 between Vietnam and Thailand, which attracted a million viewers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Vietnamese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around Asia to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. The TV producer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
back a hundred million from the sponsorships and each view turns on the YouTube channel. While the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
match was
significantly
lower. Giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
a higher priority is,
therefore
, a wise strategy to earn large profits and attract more investment.

However
, I would advocate that, The TV producers should extend the streaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for female's programs. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have an ever more awareness on health, and Television is the easiest approach to transfer the sport's spirit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
be inspired
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
programs on TV, and evaluate themselves throughout doing exercises to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
healthier in life.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
athletes should have a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their talents to the world, with the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on TV, they can have more effort to contribute their talents for country's sport.

In conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more benefit than those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, and I am of the opinion that there should be a greater equality in the coverage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have recently joined to a new job. Write a letter to your English-speaking friend. In your letterExplain why u moved from previous jobDescribe your new jobTell your friend any news you want to share v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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