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Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation 1
The reasons for studying a foreign language are questionable. Some, think it is needed only to travel or get a job abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a new language that can be advantageous for people all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both of these views. Those who support studying for the only reason of travelling and working overseas argue that this is essential to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it is also required to apply for a job. For instance, French physician living and working in England has to know English to communicate not only with local patients and nurses, but also to rent an apartment and to buy food at the grocery store. Furthermore, it is said, that there are not other reasons to learn languages as, for instance, if this doctor did not leave France ever he would not have the need to study further languages than its own. Conversely, others think there are more motives to learn a new language, as to keep up with the advances in our professions and grow in our careers. For example, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific research articles and newspapers are written in a different language than ours. Another reason is to make new friends online. For example, there are some particular social media platforms which are only in English, so whoever wants to connect through them has to know how to communicate in this language. In conclusion, whereas for many the two only reasons to learn a foreign language are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is in addition needed to keep up-to-date at work and to make new relationship through the internet. Thus, languages should be taught in every school, university and in job offices as part of the regular program to improve people's professional and social skills.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for studying a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are questionable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that can be advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both of these views.

Those who support studying for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of travelling and working overseas argue that this is essential to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it is
also
required to apply for a job.
For instance
, French physician living and working in England
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know English to communicate not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
with local patients and nurses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to rent an apartment and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food at the grocery store.
Furthermore
, it
is said
, that there are not other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as,
for instance
, if this doctor did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
France ever he would not have the need to study
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
than its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Conversely
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are more motives to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the advances in our professions and grow in our careers.
For example
, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific research articles and newspapers
are written
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than ours. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends online.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular social media platforms which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whoever wants to connect through them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know how to communicate in this language.

In conclusion
, whereas for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to learn a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is
in addition
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up-to-date at work and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationship through the internet.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be taught
in every school, university and in job offices as part of the regular program to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's professional and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are becoming more interested in family history research Others argue we should focus on present and future generation 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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