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Tpo 10 Do you agree with statement that playing computer games is a waste of time Children should not be allowed to play them v.1

Tpo 10 that playing computer games is a waste of time Children should not be allowed to play them v. 1
Some people say that to tackle traffic and contamination issues, the costs of petrol should be raised. In this essay I will explain why I completely agree with this and what actions could be applied additionally. One way this would help is, If the price of gasoline was higher, less people would use their private cars and more would use public transport to commute to work. Buses are more efficient and convenient than private cars as a larger amount of people can ride a bus than those driving a car. Another positive consequence of this measure is that not only private cars, but also lorries will be less used to take products from one city to another, diminishing consequently contamination and traffic on roads and streets. In addition to this measure, the government could provide bicycles to commute to work. For example, many cities around the world offer this service to get to and from downtown to neighbouring towns, reducing the cause traffic jams and pollution significantly. Another primary strategy would be to increase the number of trains and rails as these are a much more convenient means of transport, which produce less fumes, noise and certainly would not make the traffic grow but diminish. In conclusion, increasing the cost of petrol is essential for the improvement of traffic and pollution problems. This, however, is not the only answer to this concern, providing alternative modes of transport for people and goods is significantly important to address every side of the situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and contamination issues, the costs of petrol should
be raised
. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and what actions could
be applied
additionally
.

One way this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is, If the price of gasoline was higher,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and more would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport to commute to work. Buses are more efficient and convenient than private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as a larger amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can ride a bus than those driving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequence of this measure is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lorries will be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take products from one city to another, diminishing
consequently
contamination and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
on roads and streets.

In addition
to this measure, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could provide bicycles to commute to work.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world offer this service to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to and from downtown to
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
towns, reducing the cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams and pollution
significantly
. Another primary strategy would be to increase the number of trains and rails as these are a much more convenient means of transport, which produce
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun fumes is countable.
less
fumes, noise and
certainly
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
diminish.

In conclusion
, increasing the cost of petrol is essential for the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution problems. This,
however
, is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
answer to this concern, providing alternative modes of transport for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to address every side of the situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Tpo 10 that playing computer games is a waste of time Children should not be allowed to play them v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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