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Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. Discuss both views and give your opinio v.1

Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. 1
According to some people, every activity that children pursue in their leisure time should have some educational value. They believe that activities that do not teach anything are useless. I fully agree with this view. When educational elements are made a part of leisure time activities, children learn effortlessly and with pleasure. In Sweden, for example, the government has passed a law that makes it mandatory for toy makers to incorporate some educational value into every toy they sell. This makes learning a fun activity for children. In addition, leisure time activities that are educational in nature make the best use of children’s time. This approach also ensures that they do not waste their time doing activities that are harmful or useless. For example, lots of children all over the world play the Pokemon cards and waste countless hours gathering information about some fictitious characters. This is a complete waste of time. If these cards were replaced by some informative cards or if the characters were from history or mythology, the children would still have fun and at the same they would also acquire valuable knowledge. Thus, it is evident that by simply making some changes to the toys and games in the market, we can help our children learn with fun and pleasure. Another advantage of educational, leisure activities is that most of them require the active participation of parents. Thus, they play an important role in strengthening the parent-child relationship. To conclude, after analysing the situation, it is not hard to see that there are numerous benefits to adding some educational elements of free time activities. However, parents must ensure that the emphasis is on leisure and that learning does not become burdensome for the children.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pursue in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
value. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that do not teach anything are useless. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
elements
are made
a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
effortlessly
and with pleasure. In Sweden,
for example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has passed a law that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it mandatory for toy makers to incorporate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
value into every toy they sell.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
learning a fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for children.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
in nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This approach
also
ensures that they do not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are harmful or useless.
For example
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
all over the world play the
'Pokemon' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Pokémon"
Pokemon
cards and waste countless hours gathering information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fictitious characters. This is a complete waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If these cards
were replaced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
informative cards or if the characters were from history or mythology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
still
have fun and at the same they would
also
acquire valuable knowledge.
Thus
, it is evident that by
simply
making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the toys and games in the market, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn with fun and pleasure. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is that most of them require the active participation of parents.
Thus
, they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in strengthening the parent-child relationship.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the situation, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are numerous benefits to adding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
elements of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that the emphasis is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
and that learning does not become burdensome for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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