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You have received the email below from your friend, Alex. Reply to Alex’s email. Write about 200 words. v.1

You have received the email below from your friend, Alex. Reply to Alex’s email. Write about 200 words. v. 1
Hi Alex! Well. . . Moving to another city can be exciting and scary at the same time, for both of you; But I think you should let her do it because she will get to know the way of thinking, eating, acting, speaking and working from another place; which will create her a bigger spectrum of how the world works. Also living away from you will make her more responsible with her money and time management, not to mention that she will grow as a person; this change will help Jane to be more mature and improve her self-confidence. She will become emotionally strong and can survive almost anything. By living away from family and childhood friends, Jane will learn that she has to fend for herself in a strange environment, and that in life's college equals many credits. And if the all those reasons for studying far away do not convince you, perhaps you would be interested to know that when studying in another city, the academic and work contacts that she can acquire are very extensive; Jane will create ties with people who can help her in the near or far future to enter a specific job market or who will serve as references for your future employers. I know that letting go might be difficult, but she has to study wherever she feels happy in order to be a successful professional; just trust that she will behave well and study very hard. you will be proud i promise -sofía
Hi Alex!

Well.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Moving to another city can be exciting and scary at the same time, for both of you;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
her do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the way of thinking, eating, acting, speaking and working from another place; which will create her a bigger spectrum of how the world works.

Also
living away from you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her more responsible with her money and time management, not to mention that she will grow as a person; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Jane to be more mature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
her self-confidence. She will become
emotionally
strong and can survive almost anything.

By living away from family and childhood friends, Jane will learn that she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
fend for herself in a strange environment, and that in life's college equals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
credits.

And if the all those reasons for studying far away do not convince you, perhaps you would
be interested
to know that when studying in another city, the academic and work contacts that she can acquire are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
extensive; Jane will create ties with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her in the near or far future to enter a specific job market or who will serve as references for your future employers.

I know that letting go might be difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
study wherever she feels happy in order to be a successful professional;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
trust that she will behave well and study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
will be proud
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
promise

Possible spelling mistake found.
-sofía
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay You have received the email below from your friend, Alex. Reply to Alex’s email. Write about 200 words. v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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