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A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use v.2

A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use v. 2
In the modern world, the issue of self-development is getting worse and worse. In this regard, there is an opinion that children should be given a freedom of choice and independence in order to motivate them to widen their horizons. However, others feel that it is not essential for modern children, because they can be misled. There is no denying that the young generation should receive a freedom and take responsibility for their actions from an early age. This is because, they can become responsible and open-minded individuals, when they get older. That is to say, many people believe that if young generation get independence, they will aware of the consequences of their actions. Accordingly, they will think twice, when they decide what to do. A good illustration of this is, the American people, who are popular because of their mindfulness, which is taught from their childhood. On the other hand, children can mislead. In this regard, some people tend to think that giving advice and controlling children's decision is critical for their further development. It is widely known that many youngsters choose a wrong way, because they do not have enough knowledge about the real life. To illustrate, many youngsters are willing to try smoking and drinking alcohol, which is detrimental to their well-being, and they can regret about their action in the future. In conclusion, although many people reckon that controlling the youngsters can prevent them from harmful actions, others feel that giving a freedom can motivate them to become a law-abiding and social responsible person in the future.
In the modern world, the issue of self-development is getting worse and worse. In this regard, there is an opinion that children should be
given
a freedom
of choice and independence in order to motivate them to widen their horizons.
However
, others feel that it is not essential for modern children,
because
they can
be misled
.

There is no denying that the young generation should receive a freedom and take responsibility for their actions from an early age. This is
because
, they can become responsible and open-minded individuals, when they
get
older.
That is
to say,
many
people
believe that if young generation
get
independence, they
will aware
of the consequences of their actions.
Accordingly
, they will
think
twice, when they decide what to do. A
good
illustration of this is, the American
people
, who are popular
because
of their mindfulness, which
is taught
from their childhood.

On the other hand
, children can mislead. In this regard,
some
people
tend to
think
that giving advice and controlling children's decision is critical for their
further
development. It is
widely
known that
many
youngsters choose a
wrong
way,
because
they do not have
enough
knowledge about the real life. To illustrate,
many
youngsters are willing to try smoking and drinking alcohol, which is detrimental to their well-being, and they can regret about their
action
in the future.

In conclusion
, although
many
people
reckon that controlling the youngsters can
prevent
them from harmful actions, others feel that giving a freedom can motivate them to become a law-abiding and social responsible person in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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