Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specif v.1

A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specif v. 1
Due to the cut-throat competition in the market and living in the fast-pace life many adults do not have much time for exercise. However, while some think that by showing them sports like the Olympics or the Football World Cup on television boost their motivation for exercise, I agree with those who believe that there are different ways by which they can be encouraged to do exercise. On the one hand, it could be argued that by watching major sports events on television would encourage most adults to start exercising and be fit. It is believed that the majority of people often follow their favourite athletes by watching them on the television as they are quite fit enough, focused and goal-oriented in their life. For instance, in Spain, most adults are crazy for their favourite footballers such as Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi and others to whom they idolize and try to imitate them by being fit and doing exercise regularly. Thus, such an event mostly encourages to start exercise on a daily basis. On the other hands, I would argue that there are various methods to encourage them to start exercise on a daily basis. I believe that one of the methods is to have a healthy diet in their routine so that always they remain healthy. In other words, they should add nutritional values foods, green vegetables, and fruits in their daily diet to have a healthy life. Take Japan, as an example, where most Japanese always add boiled green vegetables in their lunch in order to be fit, and, as a result, they live a longer life in the world. In my opinion, the best method to remain fit is to walk on a daily basis at least for thirty minutes in the morning, resulting in a motivated, energetic and stress-free life. In conclusion, although watching favourite sportsmen on Cricket World Cup, Football World Cup or Olympics and idolize them in order to remain healthy in the life, daily walking for half an hour not only does it boost our energy but also keep us fit and stress-free. Therefore, on balance, I believe that other methods are convenient to adopt in life to have a healthy life.
Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition in the market and living in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-pace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults do not have much time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by showing them sports like the Olympics or the Football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup on television boost their motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways by which they can
be encouraged
to do exercise.

On the one hand, it could
be argued
that by watching major sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on television would encourage most adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
exercising and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
. It
is believed
that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
follow their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
athletes by watching them on the television as they are quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, focused and goal-oriented in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, in Spain, most adults are crazy for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
footballers such as Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to whom they idolize and try to imitate them by being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
.
Thus
, such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
mostly
encourages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands, I would argue that there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis. I believe that one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
is to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet in their routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that always they remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
nutritional values foods, green vegetables, and fruits in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
diet to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Take Japan, as an example, where most Japanese always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
boiled green vegetables in their lunch in order to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
, and,
as a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In my opinion, the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
is to walk on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis at least for thirty minutes in the morning, resulting in a motivated, energetic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life.

In conclusion
, although watching
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sportsmen on Cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup, Football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup or Olympics and idolize them in order to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
walking for half an hour not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it boost our energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are convenient to adopt in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either • to go on vacation • to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend’s two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specif v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts