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You have organized to go on holidays with your friend - However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter; tell him how much you are looking forward to the holiday. Explain why you must change your plans. Suggest alternative v.1

You have organized to go on holidays with your friend - However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter; tell him how much you are looking forward to the holiday. Explain why you must change your plans. Suggest alternative v. 1
The modernized world has a certainly affected many sectors. This will be led to the diversity in the method of a farming, which helps to get a good quality crop and required less human effort. However, this essay will discuss about the layman who are suffering from the food is due to their poverty and this challenge will be solved by taking precautionary steps that discussed in below paragraphs. To begin with, the predominate cause for the mankind has to survive in the food is the price. This sudden elaboration in price is due to the use of modern instruments and fertilizers. As a result, we can get not only the crops having a good quality, but also price of such products would be increased compared to the past. Moreover, the environment is a crucial factor which affects the agriculture. For example, in today’s era, the surrounding is having many challenges such as global warming; this will reduce the rain and production abilities. Such, change will raise the amount of crops. Thus, with the use of technology and environmental changes plays a role in the rise in the price of food. On the other hand, this problem can be solved by an authority by taking some measures. Firstly, the government should provide an employment opportunity, which can help people to earn money. Secondly, the government should also control the price of bread by strictly monitoring it, they can also release some plan, which serve the needy people. Furthermore, the authority can also start to show an impact of deforestation on the environment, which ultimately affects the farming industry. For instance, In India the regime gives an important to the farming by starting some campaign such as “Go Green” which promote the farming and gives the land to the farmer which utilized for the agriculture. Hence, to solve the feeding problem the authority and individual can take steps. In conclusion, to acquire the healthy food is the basic need of all the living entity. Although a person can get a quality food with the use of technology, which swell the price, this would be reduced by the government by releasing the opportunity to earn money and awareness regarding the importance of a food.
The modernized world has a
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors. This will
be led
to the diversity in the method of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality crop and required less human effort.
However
, this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
layman who are suffering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is due to their poverty and this challenge will
be solved
by taking precautionary steps that discussed in below paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominate cause for the mankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
survive in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. This sudden elaboration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern instruments and fertilizers.
As a result
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the crops having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of such products would
be increased
compared to the past.
Moreover
, the environment is a crucial factor which affects the agriculture.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era, the surrounding is having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges such as global warming; this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rain and production abilities. Such,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will raise the amount of crops.
Thus
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology and environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
plays a role in the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of food.

On the other hand
, this problem can
be solved
by an authority by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide an employment opportunity, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to earn money.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of bread by
strictly
monitoring it, they can
also
release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plan, which serve the needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, the authority can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an impact of deforestation on the environment, which
ultimately
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
industry.
For instance
, In India the regime gives an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
by starting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
campaign such as “Go Green” which promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and gives the land to the farmer which utilized for the agriculture.
Hence
, to solve the feeding problem the authority and individual can take steps.

In conclusion
, to acquire the healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the basic need of all the living entity. Although a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology, which swell the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, this would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by releasing the opportunity to earn money and awareness regarding the importance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have organized to go on holidays with your friend - However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter; tell him how much you are looking forward to the holiday. Explain why you must change your plans. Suggest alternative v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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