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You have organised to go on a holiday with your friend However you must change your plans Write a letter to your friend In your letter Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday Explain why you must change your plans Suggest alternative arr v.1

You have organised to go on a holiday with your friend However you must change your plans Write a letter to your friend In your letter Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday Explain why you must change your plans Suggest alternative arr v. 1
During the recent years, the technology has improved significantly all over the world and the internet has played a considerable role in our life. There is an idea about the revolution of the world with internet in the future, which it depends on simple access to all available data through the world wide web by everyone. I however disagree with the given statement on the basis of information copyright. To begin with, the main reason is that all of the information through internet was written by someone and should be followed copyright. So, if all the data are available and reachable without any limitation or roles, nobody respect copyright and referencing. For instance, access to the researches and photos easily and using them simply, might be trampled the author’s right. Hence, the access to the information should be follow a standard role which determines the clear rights clearly. Having said that, however, another compelling argument against simple access to the information is personal information security. That is to say, the more technology is improving the more private hard drive is being abolished and online storage is replacing and for this purpose, restricted access is safer and logical than simple access to all data. As an example, access to the private information leads to abuse and loss of privacy which cannot be accepted by people. Thus, when the privacy policy of the internet is not acceptable by everyone it cannot alter the world dramatically. To sum up, I personally believe that it is ethically unacceptable that the internet can revolutionize the world with easy access to the information by everyone. This is mainly because of privacy policy and copyright.
During the recent years, the technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and the internet has played a considerable role in our life. There is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the revolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with internet in the future, which it depends on simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to all available data through the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
by everyone. I
however
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
copyright.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason is that
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through internet
was written
by someone and should
be followed
copyright.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if all the data are available and reachable without any limitation or roles, nobody
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "respects", "respected".
respect
copyright and referencing.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the researches and photos
easily
and using them
simply
, might
be trampled
the author’s right.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
Did you mean "followed"?
follow
a standard role which determines the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
rights
clearly
.

Having said that,
however
, another compelling argument against simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
security.
That is
to say, the more technology is improving the more private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
drive is
being abolished
and online storage is replacing and for this purpose, restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
is safer and logical than simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to all data. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
leads to abuse and loss of privacy which cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, when the privacy policy of the internet is not acceptable by everyone it cannot alter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
dramatically
.

To sum up, I
personally
believe that it is
ethically
unacceptable that the internet can revolutionize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by everyone. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of privacy policy and copyright.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay You have organised to go on a holiday with your friend However you must change your plans Write a letter to your friend In your letter Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday Explain why you must change your plans Suggest alternative arr v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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