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Your friend has booked a holiday for both of you. However, you are not happy with the hotel arrangements and want to change them. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter, mention: How excited you are for this holiday with him/her Why are you not happy with the hotel? Which alternatives would you prefer? v.1

Your friend has booked a holiday for both of you. However, you are not happy with the hotel arrangements and want to change them. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter, mention: How excited you are for this holiday with him/her Why are you not happy with the hotel? Which alternatives would you prefer? v. 1
Dear Sunitha, I'm so excited awaiting our holidays. I remember the last meeting when you told me about your plans for a trip with me. I am really surprised with your coordination and planning ability. When I received your call, I was overwhelmed with joy. Moreover, being an adventure enthusiast, it was my long-time dream to visit Kullu and Manali. I'm very thankful to you for choosing such a wonderful paradise on Earth. I got the itinerary send by you through the mail. I am so happy that we are staying there for 6 nights and 1 day. But, sorry to say, I'm not happy with the lodging you have booked for us. I wanted to have a room with a balcony having a mountain view plus dining. Also, I prefer the tavern should be in equal/almost near distance from our destinations places. So that, without wasting time we can explore the whole Himachal Pradesh. Furthermore, while checking with one of my friends, the hotel which you booked have some negative reviews and which is far from our destination spots. I have googled for more information and found a hotel named Sun Park Hotel, Manali. More than a hotel, it is a resort. So we can have some fun time together by playing games and swimming indoor pools. They have their own spa facilities, which will help us to relax from our tiring day roams. In addition, the most beautiful part is, it a resort area with views of the Himalayas. Please consider my suggestion and change the plans in accordingly. However, it should be remembered that you will have to obtain a special permit for visiting Rohtang Pass- our 3rd day destination. Looking forward for your reply and convey my regards to your parents. Yours lovingly, Sadika
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sunitha
,

I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited awaiting our holidays. I remember the last meeting when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about your plans for a trip with me.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
really
surprised with your coordination and planning ability. When I received your call, I
was overwhelmed
with joy.
Moreover
, being an adventure enthusiast, it was my long-time dream to visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kullu
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manali
. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thankful to you for choosing such a wonderful paradise on Earth.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the itinerary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
by you through the mail.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy that we are staying there for 6 nights and 1 day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, sorry to say, I'm not happy with the lodging you have booked for us. I wanted to have a room with a balcony having a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
mountain view
plus dining.
Also
, I prefer the tavern should be in equal/almost near distance from our destinations places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, without wasting time we can explore the whole Himachal Pradesh.
Furthermore
, while checking with one of my friends, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
which you booked have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reviews and which is far from our destination spots.

I have googled for more information and found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
named Sun Park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hotel
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manali
. More than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
, it is a resort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun time together by playing games and swimming indoor pools. They have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
spa facilities, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to relax from our tiring day roams.
In addition
, the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
part is, it a resort area with views of the Himalayas.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
consider my suggestion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the plans in
accordingly
.
However
, it should
be remembered
that you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obtain a special permit for visiting
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rohtang
Pass- our 3rd day destination.

Looking forward for your reply and convey my regards to your parents.

Yours
lovingly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sadika
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Your friend has booked a holiday for both of you. However, you are not happy with the hotel arrangements and want to change them. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter, mention: How excited you are for this holiday with him/her Why are you not happy with the hotel? Which alternatives would you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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