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You have organized to go on holiday with your friend. However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: 1. Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday. 2. Explain why you must change your plans. 3. Suggest alter v.1

You have organized to go on holiday with your friend. However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: 1. Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday. 2. Explain why you must change your plans. 3. Suggest alter v. 1
Nowadays, the trend that advertising is the main drive of soaring sales of goods and inducing consumers to purchase what they do not actually need has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although advertising has the power to entice people to buy unnecessary things, some other factors will be considered There are a number of reasons why advertisements have the power to boost sales. First, since advertising uses repetitive strategies on social media, customers will remember advertised products and feel prompted to shop. In fact, the internet and television support advertising in displaying goods at high frequency, making consumers able find an excuse to shop. Secondly, by paying the large amount of money to celebrities for branding endorsement, advertisers have made it easier for the majority of people to go shopping than ever before, especially the youth. This means that brand representatives will attract a large number of loyal fans who are willing to spend money buying products advertised by their idols, leading to buying craze as a result. Nevertheless, there are some disadvantages of advertising to customers. First, since manufacturers advertise their goods by media such as television, Mail, YouTube, Facebook, it will cause irritation and anger to customers when they have to press the skip button. For example, every day when watching TV, customers encounter a lot of advertisements manifested in the form of clips and images that are automatically broadcast according to the purpose of marketers, thus customers feel uncomfortable when advertising so much without feeling the utility from it. Second, if the products are advertised regularly to consumers every day, they are enticed to buy unnecessary items that go beyond their payment. This means that they will spend money to buy many new items, causing waste of the money, which leads them into debt to pay for too much shopping, carring the burden of finance affecting work and life. In conclusion, advantage of the advertising will be more significant. By advertising introduces people to new products, it describes differencies among the different goods.
Nowadays, the trend that advertising is the main drive of soaring sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and inducing consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
what they do not actually need has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although advertising has the power to entice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other factors will
be considered


There are a number of reasons why advertisements have the power to boost sales.
First
, since advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
repetitive strategies on social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
will remember advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and feel prompted to shop. In fact, the internet and television support advertising in displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
at high frequency, making consumers able find an excuse to shop.
Secondly
, by paying the large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to celebrities for branding endorsement, advertisers have made it easier for the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to go shopping than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
especially
the youth. This means that brand representatives will attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
loyal fans who are willing to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
advertised by their idols, leading to buying craze
as a result
.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of advertising to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
First
, since manufacturers advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
by media such as television, Mail, YouTube, Facebook, it will cause irritation and anger to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
press the skip button.
For example
, every day when watching TV,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advertisements manifested in the form of clips and images that are
automatically
broadcast according to the purpose of marketers,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
feel uncomfortable when advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much without feeling the utility from it. Second, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are advertised
regularly
to consumers every day, they
are enticed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary items that go beyond their payment. This means that they will spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new items, causing waste of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which leads them into debt to pay for too much shopping,
Possible spelling mistake found.
carring
the burden of finance affecting work and life.

In conclusion
, advantage of the advertising will be more significant. By advertising introduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
Possible spelling mistake found.
differencies
among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have organized to go on holiday with your friend. However, you must change your plans. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: 1. Tell them how much you are looking forward to the holiday. 2. Explain why you must change your plans. 3. Suggest alter v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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