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You have orderes cheque book bofore fifteen days bur still you have not received it. Write a letter to bank manager with dissatisfaction to service. Mention-When and how you requestAsk how much time it will takeShare anhy action to solve it v.1

You have orderes cheque book bofore fifteen days bur still you have not received it. Write a letter to bank manager with dissatisfaction to service. Mention-When and how you requestAsk how much time it will takeShare anhy action to solve it v. 1
In the era of technology, people allow their children to play on their computers with a believe that it will improve their imagination. There is no denying the fact that children should learn about technology and its benefits, but it could be very harmful for their health. I don't think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will discuss about the disadvantages and how they prevail over the advantages. Every child loves video games, they found them so attractive because of the beautiful graphics and good music. They are always busy in playing video games and as a result of which they don't like to play outside anymore. Children avoid playing in the park, and due to less physical activity they become clumsy and obese. Their body becomes vulnerable to so many diseases because they are always sitting. The habit of video games in such early age is dangerous. It not only affects their eyes and other organs, but also develops a sense of introversion. For instance, my nephew is always busy playing on his computer. He does not care about his siblings and other family members. He is always sitting in his room and playing on his computer for hours. In conclusion, according to me, I don't see any advantage of allowing children to play on computers. They will not learn about new technology by playing video games. In fact, they will hurt their eyes and their body. Parents should tell their children about the harmful effects of video games on their body. A child should be encouraged to play outside and take part in the outdoor activities, so that he can live a healthy life.
In the era of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
on their computers with a
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination. There is no denying the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn about technology and its benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for their health. I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
disadvantages and how they prevail over the advantages.

Every child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they found them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attractive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
graphics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
music. They are always busy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
as a result
of which they don't like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
outside anymore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
in the park, and due to less physical activity they become clumsy and obese. Their body becomes vulnerable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are always sitting.

The habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in such early age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects their eyes and other organs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develops a sense of introversion.
For instance
, my nephew is always busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on his computer. He does not care about his siblings and other family members. He is always sitting in his room and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on his computer for hours.

In conclusion
, according to me, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any advantage of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
on computers. They will not learn about new technology by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In fact, they will hurt their eyes and their body. Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on their body. A child should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
outside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the outdoor activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have orderes cheque book bofore fifteen days bur still you have not received it. Write a letter to bank manager with dissatisfaction to service. Mention-When and how you requestAsk how much time it will takeShare anhy action to solve it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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