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The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree? v.2

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. v. 2
Due to easier access of vast information over the internet, some argued that government-owned libraries are no longer important. However, I believe that their existence still plays a vital role to provide reliable and accurate data than other sources. For younger generations today, especially students, they prefer to browse the internet for their research studies and school works than visiting public libraries. People find it easier to get information online because almost all topics are already available on the web. In addition to that, they just need to type the topic in the search bar from a certain website and with just a click, various ideas and information are readily offered. Therefore, some people think that the benefits of accessibility of cyber information seem to outweigh the importance of public libraries. On the other hand, library books have more reliable sources and references than websites, that is why people should still be more vigilant while getting information online. Moreover, vast historical information is printed in old books and manuscripts, which are mostly kept in the restricted part of public libraries for its preservation. Detailed information from these sources are likely not available online, which entails that public libraries are undoubtedly essential part of society. Furthermore, there are students from economically disadvantaged families, especially from third-world and developing countries, who cannot afford laptops and internet access. Consequently, they would opt to go to public libraries for free access of information to complete their school requirements that cover further research. In conclusion, I do believe that public libraries should remain as part of our society because of the contributions they make available for the people.
Due to easier access of vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
over the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
libraries are no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
, I believe that their existence
still
plays a vital role to provide reliable and accurate data than other sources.

For younger generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
especially
students, they prefer to browse the internet for their research studies and school works than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
find it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost all topics are already available on the web.
In addition
to that, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to type the topic in the search bar from a certain website and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click, various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are
readily
offered.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the benefits of accessibility of cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
seem to outweigh the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries.

On the other hand
, library books have more reliable sources and references than websites,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
still
be more vigilant while getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online.
Moreover
, vast historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is printed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
books and manuscripts, which are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the restricted part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries for its preservation. Detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from these sources are likely not available online, which entails that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are
undoubtedly
essential part of society.
Furthermore
, there are students from
economically
disadvantaged families,
especially
from third-world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, who cannot afford laptops and internet access.
Consequently
, they would opt to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries for free access of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to complete their school requirements that cover
further
research.

In conclusion
, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should remain as part of our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the contributions they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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