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You have long been friends with someone. If they do something that you don’t like, should you still be friends with him or her? v.2

You have long been friends with someone. If they do something that you don’t like, should you still be friends with him or her? v. 2
The Public is residing in a society where, accessories are used only for a short period of time and, after a while, making no use of the things. In my opinion, the main cause, that is, influencing these kind of actions are, due to no value of the investment, especially kept buying a specific object for us and, the other aspect is, to develop the social status among their surroundings. This sort of cases can lead to major problems, which affect human life. On the one hand, The main reason, particularly influencing spoilage is deterioration of self-control. Most of the communities, get excited to receive the stuff, only to enlighten their style of living, instead of, analysing the importance in their daily activity. For example, It has been observed that, Many kids show high enthusiasm, when they find gifts, and toy shops, are further, bought by their parents. Children use the given gadget to play and, trifle, only for a minimal period of time and, later, throwing it away once they feel obsessed. Over and above, request their family for new presents. Hence, these sequences of events lead to various issues such as, the spoilage of the attitude of the toddlers such as, lack of realization and, the importance of the life, before they reach the adolescent stage. Moreover, It has also been found out that, influence on maintain dignity and, prestige, lead an individual to follow the "throwaway society". For Instance, It is studied in a survey that, a significant number of homemakers, plan to modify their homes with the furniture they see in the neighbourhood, further, replacing the goods, even if it is recently bought. It can start from Interior designing, clothes, jewellery, and, automobiles. This behaviour will continue to cause serious complications by, not only damage attitude of a person, but, likewise affect the nature of the juvenile, further, suffering from financial loss. Finally, In conclusion, I conclude that, Population who are living in the nation, and, utilizing possessions, only for temporary use, needs to be reduced, which will be beneficial, and further, set a good motivation for future generations and, all over the world. If this atmosphere gets stagnant, It would lead to drastic circumstances, that will be dangerous for the humankind.
The Public is residing in a society where, accessories are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for a short period of time and, after a while, making no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the things. In my opinion, the main cause,
that is
, influencing
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of actions are, due to no value of the investment,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
buying a specific object for us and, the other aspect is, to develop the social status among their surroundings. This sort of cases can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to major problems, which affect human life.

On the one hand, The main reason,
particularly
influencing spoilage is deterioration of self-control. Most of the communities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excited to receive the stuff,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to enlighten their style of living,
instead
of,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the importance in their daily activity.
For example
, It has
been observed
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
high enthusiasm, when they find gifts, and toy shops, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by their parents. Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
gadget to play and, trifle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for a minimal period of time and, later, throwing it away once they feel obsessed. Over and above, request their family for new presents.
Hence
, these sequences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to various issues such as, the spoilage of the attitude of the toddlers such as, lack of realization and, the importance of the life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they reach the adolescent stage.

Moreover
, It has
also
been found
out that, influence on maintain dignity and, prestige,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
an individual to follow the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
throwaway society
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
For Instance
, It
is studied
in a survey that, a significant number of homemakers, plan to modify their homes with the furniture they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
, replacing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, even if it is recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from Interior designing, clothes,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, and, automobiles. This
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will continue to cause serious complications by, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
damage attitude of a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
likewise
affect the nature of the juvenile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
, suffering from financial loss.

Finally
,
In conclusion
, I conclude that, Population who are living in the nation, and, utilizing possessions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for temporary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, which will be beneficial, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
, set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motivation for future generations and, all over the world. If this atmosphere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
stagnant, It would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to drastic circumstances, that will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the humankind.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have long been friends with someone. If they do something that you don’t like, should you still be friends with him or her? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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