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You have just moved to a new apartment. Write a letter to your friend inviting them to come to your new home. In the letter you should: • explain why you moved • describe your new home • tell them how to get to your apartment v.1

You have just moved to a new apartment. Write a letter to your friend inviting them to come to your new home. In the letter you should: • explain why you moved • describe your new home • tell them how to get to your apartment v. 1
Without any hesitation the internet like any modern technology that has taken place in our daily life, it has both advantages and drawbacks. For instance, it creates serious issues like cyber-attack (hackers) or being hard for old people to use an online transformation that forced governments to find solutions for these kinds of problems. On the one hand, people with whom they do not have adequate knowledge or are not familiar with online communications should be considered as an important part of the community to guide. It is a problem for nowadays officials to how can they solve this difficulty? In my opinion, we should build some modern schools for those kinds of people to educate them on how to use the internet for transforming information and make these institutions free would be a great encouragement for people. So, the authority’s duty is that establishing places for educating unfamiliar people with the internet would be a good way to inform those people. On the other hand, like other methods of sharing data, we should be prepared for thieves and on this occasion hacker by using high-level security protocols. Moreover, we should make a special police unit for online robberies and make harsh laws for lawbreakers and having effective roles against them, would be a great way to lower these kinds of frauds. For instance, in the UK, their police cyber-attack constantly monitors every money transformation to prevent any stealing. So, we should establish individual enforcement to stop these kinds of online stealing. In conclusion, although there are many benefits to online data sharing, we should not forget about the law protection and educate people with this new way of transformation.
Without any hesitation the internet like any modern technology that has taken place in our daily life, it has both advantages and drawbacks.
For instance
, it creates serious issues like cyber-attack (hackers) or being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transformation that forced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to find solutions for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of problems.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with whom they do not have adequate knowledge or are not familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communications should
be considered
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the community to guide. It is a problem for nowadays officials to how can they solve this difficulty? In my opinion, we should build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern schools for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to educate them on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for transforming information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these institutions free would be a great encouragement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the authority’s duty is that establishing places for educating unfamiliar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the internet would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to inform those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, like other methods of sharing data, we should
be prepared
for thieves and on this occasion hacker by using high-level security protocols.
Moreover
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a special police unit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
robberies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
harsh laws for lawbreakers and having effective roles against them, would be a great way to lower these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of frauds.
For instance
, in the UK, their police cyber-attack
constantly
monitors every money transformation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any stealing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should establish individual enforcement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stealing.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
data sharing, we should not forget about the law protection and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with this new way of transformation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay You have just moved to a new apartment. Write a letter to your friend inviting them to come to your new home. In the letter you should: • explain why you moved • describe your new home • tell them how to get to your apartment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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