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Nowadays people are working too hard What is the reason for that what should employers do in order to prevent employees from this v.1

Nowadays people are working too hard What is the reason for that what should employers do in order to prevent employees from this v. 1
In some countries, after completing the high school, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a period before starting their graduation. It will certainly aid the youngsters, but there will also be some drawbacks. One evident benefit to having a one-year void is to take time in deciding the future. It will help them in getting inspired and motivated, which will allow them to decide the subjects for making a career in the future. Apart from that, they get enough time to earn their college fees so that they can complete university studies without any obstacle. For instance, teenagers in South Korea join part-time jobs to get enough fund for university tuition fees. While, children of rich families travel and relax in a range to figure out their respective future goals. On the other hand, the difference between the school and the college breaks the motion of studies. Hence, they find it difficult to adapt themselves with books after joining the universities. Besides, they find it difficult to compete with the classmates who continued their studies without any gap. Therefore, at the beginning of the session, they have to fix the normal routine and work extra hard to be on the same level. Another demerit is that some companies recruit youngsters with age restrictions, which make them rethink about taking a break. In conclusion, taking a gap for a year has both merits and demerits. It's an individual choice and it depends on a person to person. Since, this provision is provided in some countries, so taking a year's time should not be any problem.
In
some
countries, after completing the high school, young
people
are encouraged
to work or travel for a period
before
starting their graduation. It will
certainly
aid the youngsters,
but
there will
also
be
some
drawbacks.

One evident benefit to having a one-year void is to take time in deciding the future. It will
help
them in getting inspired and motivated, which will
allow
them to decide the subjects for making a career in the future. Apart from that, they
get
enough
time to earn their college fees
so
that they can complete university studies without any obstacle.
For instance
,
teenagers
in South Korea
join
part-time jobs to
get
enough
fund for university tuition fees. While, children of rich families travel and relax in a range to figure out their respective future goals.

On the other hand
, the difference between the school and the college breaks the motion of studies.
Hence
, they find it difficult to adapt themselves with books after joining the universities.
Besides
, they find it difficult to compete with the classmates who continued their studies without any gap.
Therefore
, at the beginning of the session, they
have to
fix
the normal routine and work extra
hard
to be on the same level. Another demerit is that
some
companies
recruit youngsters with age restrictions, which
make
them rethink about taking a break.

In conclusion
, taking a gap for a year has both merits and demerits. It's an individual choice and it depends on a person to person. Since, this provision
is provided
in
some
countries,
so
taking a year's time should not be any problem.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays people are working too hard What is the reason for that what should employers do in order to prevent employees from this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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