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You have got a good offer from another company but you have declined the offer. Write a letter to the HR Manager explaining the reason why you do not want to leave your present organization etc. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as v.1

You have got a good offer from another company but you have declined the offer. Write a letter to the HR Manager explaining the reason why you do not want to leave your present organization etc. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as v. 1
Governments are the custodian of public's health, education, and employment. While some people believe that all nations around the globe must provide a free health care, even if that care is costly, I partially agree with this notion because this would create financial burden and economical imbalance for a country. Undoubtedly, it must be agreed that governments must provide necessary health services to the residents because people pay tax to the authorities. Therefore, it is the onus of governments to take care health issues of natives. For example, providing people vaccination for deadly diseases and arranging necessary vaccination for children is the responsibility of statuary bodies. However, whole medical care should not be free for everyone, but must be based on the income level of every nation's dweller. However, it is also an undeniable fact that apart from medical care, governments have many other responsibilities, which are equally important as the medical facilities are essential. For instance, proving people with housing, education, employment are few, but other vital responsibilities of the governance of any nation. If governments provide the natives with completely free health care services, it would result in a financial burden on the authorities. Consequently, this act would give birth to economical imbalance for a nation in the world market. In conclusion, although it is suggested that all nations should have free medical care for the resident people, completely free health is not feasible because there are many other responsibilities of the governments for the overall development of any country. Charge free health care would result in the monetary burden on the nation and it would also disturb the economical balance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
are the custodian of public's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education, and employment. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
around the globe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, even if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is costly, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would create financial burden and economical imbalance for a country.

Undoubtedly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services to the residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay tax to the authorities.
Therefore
, it is the onus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues of natives.
For example
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vaccination for deadly diseases and arranging necessary vaccination for children is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of statuary bodies.
However
, whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be based
on the income level of every nation's dweller.

However
, it is
also
an undeniable fact that apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
, which are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities are essential.
For instance
, proving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with housing, education, employment are few,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of the governance of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
provide the natives with completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services, it would result in a financial burden on the authorities.
Consequently
, this act would give birth to economical imbalance for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in the world market.

In conclusion
, although it
is suggested
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the resident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not feasible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
for the
overall
development of any country. Charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
would result in the monetary burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and it would
also
disturb the economical balance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have got a good offer from another company but you have declined the offer. Write a letter to the HR Manager explaining the reason why you do not want to leave your present organization etc. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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