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You have been working for a company for more than a few years and have decided to leave the company Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company In your letter explain what you have learned while working for the company v.1

You have been working for a company for more than a few years and have decided to leave the company Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company In your letter explain what you have learned while working for the company v. 1
Many people believe that the arts do not possess an impact on our life. Thus, the government should not allocate funds to such sector. I partially agree with this notion. The arts play a huge role in life, regardless of age. At a young age children, learn to portray their emotions through paintings. They can enhance their creativity by making sculptures. Arts is not only the picture of emotions or creativity, but it is also a source of income. After getting professional education people devote their lives to music and can uplift their economic status. As an illustration, In Pakistan, music is becoming popular. Hence, it is now considered as a profession which offers enormous number of high paying jobs. A trend of opting this profession is increasing as it is a huge source of income. Therefore, higher authorities must sponsor finances in the field of arts. Although arts provide satisfaction to our souls, other issues need attention of administration as well. Other problems such as, escalating rates of crimes, lack of education and poverty needs the attention of everyone. A recent survey done in India illustrates that almost fifty percent of the population of India is not educated up to primary level. Therefore, the government must focus and spend money on the basic necessities of life, such as, health and education rather than on the luxuries. To conclude, some people think the arts do not improvise our lifestyle. Therefore, the government must not spend resources in such field. I partially agree with this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
do not possess an impact on our life.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not allocate funds to such sector. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play a huge role in life, regardless of age. At a young age children, learn to portray their emotions through paintings. They can enhance their creativity by making sculptures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the picture of emotions or creativity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
a source of income. After getting professional education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
devote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to music and can uplift their economic status. As an illustration, In Pakistan, music is becoming popular.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered as a profession which offers enormous number of high paying jobs. A trend of opting this profession is increasing as it is a huge source of income.
Therefore
, higher authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
sponsor finances in the field of arts.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
provide satisfaction to our souls, other issues need attention of administration
as well
. Other problems such as, escalating rates of crimes, lack of education and poverty needs the attention of everyone. A recent survey done in India illustrates that almost fifty percent of the population of India is not educated up to primary level.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus and spend money on the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life, such as, health and education
rather
than on the luxuries.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
do not improvise our lifestyle.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not spend resources in such field. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay You have been working for a company for more than a few years and have decided to leave the company Write a letter to your company manager saying that you want to leave the company In your letter explain what you have learned while working for the company v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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