Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v.1

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v. 1
Many medical or educational staff from under developed regions are leaving for developed ones to achieve better opportunities. Migration will create a certain crisis such as lack of professional resources and drops in health and educational status, which occurs not only in a national scale but also globally. If needed professionals decide to abandon their own countries, a succession of crisis will happen. First of all, by emptying the frontier, the people desperately in need of service will also feel the urge to migrate. As an example, I am reminded of my own country, Iran, since many doctors who had left, gradually joined a massive army of medical specialists in developed countries. The second problem can be described as; the whole world is about to observe unfairly scattered occupations across the globe by the rapid increase of migrations. Pioneers in statistic improvements are from developing countries, due to better existing conditions. Finland is achieved every great grade thanks to migrants, while most African countries are searching for their primary rights. Firstly, governors should ensure professionals a promising life in their own hometown by providing them with up-to-dated facilities. This will encourage intellectuals to stay in result of improvement. Had the Indian government built a high school in a small own, the pupils would have not left for an urban educational centre to pursue their diploma. On the other hand, stopping people from migration is inevitable. If students did not leave to complete their education, new ideas and major changes would not enter a less developed country. Therefore, a different approach should be taken, such as obligating the students and professionals to return after a limited time. In the result, people would be familiar with the factors leading to success and improve their statistics in their own countries. In conclusion, the reasons why this problem occurs should be studied in order to recognize what a service demands and lacks. Enhancement in facilities and investment professionals to upgrade their knowledge by taking a study trip can lead to development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
medical or educational staff from under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
regions are leaving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
ones to achieve better opportunities. Migration will create a certain crisis such as lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
resources and drops in health and educational status, which occurs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in a national scale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
globally.

If needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
decide to abandon their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, a succession of crisis will happen.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by emptying the frontier, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desperately
in need of service will
also
feel the urge to migrate. As an example, I
am reminded
of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Iran, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
,
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a massive army of medical specialists in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries.

The second problem can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as; the whole world is about to observe
unfairly
scattered occupations across the globe by the rapid increase of migrations. Pioneers in statistic improvements are from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, due to better existing conditions. Finland
is achieved
every great grade thanks to migrants, while most African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are searching for their primary rights.

Firstly
, governors should ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
a promising life in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hometown by providing them with up-to-dated facilities. This will encourage intellectuals to stay in result of improvement. Had the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
built a high school in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, the pupils would have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for an urban educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to pursue their diploma.

On the other hand
, stopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from migration is inevitable. If students did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to complete their education, new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
would not enter a less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach should
be taken
, such as obligating the students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
to return after a limited time. In the result,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be familiar with the factors leading to success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their statistics in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.

In conclusion
, the reasons why this problem occurs should
be studied
in order to recognize what a service demands and lacks. Enhancement in facilities and investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
to upgrade their knowledge by taking a study trip can lead to development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts