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50. Some students save their textbooks. Others sell them back to the school’s bookstore. Which would you do? v.1

50. Some students save their textbooks. Others sell them back to the school’s bookstore. Which would you do? v. 1
Society has been witnessing a growing trend in which more and more youngsters are moving from rural area to cities, resulting only elderly living in those small towns. From my standpoint, this trend is such a negative development of the nation. This essay will discuss the causes of this trend and how it affects the society in a terrible way to some extent. To begin with, there are numerous ample reasons why the youth migrate to cities. The primary one would be younger adults prefer to study and work in the cities due to two reasons. Firstly, enormous teaching resources, such as renowned and experienced teaching faculty, most updated learning cases and most equipped laboratories, are mostly provided in the top-level universities located in the cities. Secondly, many 500 fortune corporations have established most their branches in the cities and few in the countryside, which leads to graduates settling down in the places where they can find a decent job. Moreover, for young aged people who are into modern living style like dining out and going to trendy entertainment places, living in the cities could be more satisfying than residing in the countryside. Although inhabiting in the cities enrich youngsters’ life quality, and their work opportunities, it affects negatively to their living cities and their hometown. This is largely because more and more young adults moving to the urban renders the traffic congestions and air pollutions getting worse. An extensive study by Washington University showed that air pollutions in tremendous population cities were 5 times worse than 10 years ago. Secondly, having a not enough workforce to take care the elderly in the nursing home and young students in the schools will lower the education level and life expectancy in the countryside. In conclusion, although it is reasonable for youngsters to have better universities, work, chances and good way of life by coming to those cities, this trend still hurts the education level and older citizens care of the countryside, as well as stressing cities’ traffic and burdening the air quality.
Society has been witnessing a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in which more and more youngsters are moving from rural area to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, resulting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns. From my standpoint, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of the nation. This essay will discuss the causes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and how it affects the society
Consider replacing "in a terrible way" with the adverb for "terrible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a terrible way
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous ample reasons why the youth migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The primary one would be younger adults prefer to study and work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to two reasons.
Firstly
, enormous teaching resources, such as renowned and experienced teaching faculty, most updated learning cases and most equipped laboratories, are
mostly
provided in the top-level universities located in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
500 fortune corporations have established most their branches in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and few in the countryside, which leads to graduates settling down in the places where they can find a decent job.
Moreover
, for young aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are into modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
style like dining out and going to trendy entertainment places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could be more satisfying than residing in the countryside.

Although inhabiting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
enrich youngsters’ life quality, and their work opportunities, it affects
negatively
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and their hometown. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more and more young adults moving to the urban renders the traffic congestions and air pollutions getting worse. An extensive study by Washington University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that air pollutions in tremendous population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
were 5 times worse than 10 years ago.
Secondly
, having a not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
workforce to take care the elderly in the nursing home and young students in the schools will lower the education level and life expectancy in the countryside.

In conclusion
, although it is reasonable for youngsters to have better universities, work, chances and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of life by coming to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
still
hurts the education level and older citizens care of the countryside,
as well
as stressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
traffic and burdening the air quality.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 50. Some students save their textbooks. Others sell them back to the school’s bookstore. Which would you do? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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