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“Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsable for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsable for bringing the children up”. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

“Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsable for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsable for bringing the children up”. v. 1
Some people believe that fatherhood is not so significant as a motherhood. This belief exists because women have the physical power to decide if or not to have babies, hence they are responsible to take care them. However, I disagree with this, due to are considered several factors to bring a baby to the world such as the support economic and emotional, which depending from two persons. Otherwise, the idea about fatherhood is not so emphasised, likely arise in the cause that in the advertisement, overall the ads show mothers take care a baby and it almost does not appear fathers. Another reason of this is the law about paternity, because the postnatal is focused more on the woman than men. Actually, in Chile, the permission of male postnatal started approximately 4 years ago. On the other hand, it seems to me that nowadays the society has changed, so the attention for children is concerned in great measure to men as well. In fact, when a woman is pregnant is a decision that belongs to a couple. If she does not feel the support of her boyfriend, probably will decide not bring that baby. But if he agrees with have a child, likely he will be allowed to spend a lot of time with the kid. In conclusion, some persons feel that fatherhood is not so extend as a motherhood, and they believe this for the reason that the paternity is more associated to the feminity. Nevertheless I disagree with this, because the society have advanced a lot in the last year, therefore the parenthood is equality for both genders.
Some
people
believe that fatherhood is not
so
significant as a motherhood. This belief exists
because
women have the physical power to decide
if or not
to have
babies
,
hence
they are responsible to take care them.
However
, I disagree with this, due to
are considered
several factors to bring a baby to the world such as the support economic and emotional, which
depending
from two persons.

Otherwise
, the
idea
about fatherhood is not
so
emphasised
, likely arise in the cause that in the advertisement,
overall
the ads
show
mothers take care a baby and it almost does not appear fathers. Another reason of this is the law about paternity,
because
the postnatal
is focused
more on the woman than
men
. Actually, in Chile, the permission of male postnatal
started
approximately 4 years ago.

On the other hand
, it seems to me that nowadays the society has
changed
,
so
the attention for children
is concerned
in great measure to
men
as well
. In fact, when a woman is pregnant is a decision that belongs to a couple. If she does not feel the support of her boyfriend,
probably
will decide not bring that baby.
But
if he
agrees
with have a child, likely he will be
allowed
to spend
a lot of
time with the kid.

In conclusion
,
some
persons feel that fatherhood is not
so
extend as a motherhood, and they believe this for the reason that the paternity is more associated to the
feminity
.
Nevertheless
I disagree with this,
because
the society have advanced a lot in the last year,
therefore
the parenthood is equality for both genders.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay “Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsable for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsable for bringing the children up”. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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