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You have borrowed something from your friend, but it was damaged. Write a letter to your friend and say- Apologize for damaging the product- How was it damaged? - What will you do about it? v.1

You have borrowed something from your friend, but it was damaged. Write a letter to your friend and say- Apologize for damaging the product- How was it damaged? - What will you do about it? v. 1
Many nations are witnessing a drastic rise in crime rates. I think this is attributable to multiple reasons such as lack of education, unemployment, an inefficient judicial system, to name a few. This essay will deal with reasons and find out as to how can one resolve such issues Firstly, education plays a crucial role in shaping an individual’s character. It is education that makes us capable of differentiating right and wrong early in our childhood. Lack of basic education is one amongst the primary causes of increasing crimes. For example, in my country India, a vast majority of the population is illiterate. This has a deleterious impact on the society as a whole because people turn to crime without any thought, they cannot comprehend what’s right and wrong. To deal with this issue, primary education should be made available to everyone without any fees and government should take serious measures to make this mandatory for everybody. Furthermore, the other main cause of the spike in crime rates is unemployment. When people cannot find work, they have all the free time in the world. They think of crime as a shortcut to obtaining and possessing the riches of life, without any hard work. To tackle this problem, authorities should focus on increasing jobs and also introducing some compensation to unemployed people. In lieu of such compensation, they should be made to do social and community work. In addition, an inefficient judicial system is equal to be blamed. Failing to punish the criminals in time is yet another reason why people are not afraid of committing crime. To exemplify, India reported the cruel and inhuman gang rape case a few years ago. It got global attention, there was mass protest, people demanded immediate justice. In spite of such a movement, it took over three years to come out with a judgement and yet the criminals have still not been executed. In such cases, it is the slow and laid-back judicial system which is responsible for many rape cases being reported every single day. I think, if the government imposes severe implications of violating laws, crime rates will definitely see a rapid fall. To conclude, there is an urgent need for the governments to focus on addressing illiteracy and unemployment problems, which attribute to the rise of crime rates. At the same time it demands for strengthening the judicial system so people fear the repercussions of committing a crime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations are witnessing a drastic rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is attributable to multiple reasons such as lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, unemployment, an inefficient judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, to name a few. This essay will deal with reasons and find out as to how can one resolve such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
issues


Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a crucial role in shaping an individual’s character. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us capable of differentiating right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
early in our childhood. Lack of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one amongst the primary causes of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, in my country India, a vast majority of the population is illiterate. This has a deleterious impact on the society as a whole
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, they cannot comprehend what’s right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. To deal with this issue, primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be made
available to everyone without any fees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take serious measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this mandatory for everybody.

Furthermore
, the other main cause of the spike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
is unemployment. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot find work, they have all the free time in the world. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as a shortcut to obtaining and possessing the riches of life, without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. To tackle this problem, authorities should focus on increasing jobs and
also
introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compensation to unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In lieu of such compensation, they should
be made
to do social and community work.

In addition
, an inefficient judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is equal to
be blamed
. Failing to punish the criminals in time is
yet
another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not afraid of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. To exemplify, India reported the cruel and inhuman gang rape case a few years ago. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
global attention, there was mass protest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demanded immediate justice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
such a movement, it took over three years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out with a judgement and
yet
the criminals have
still
not
been executed
. In such cases, it is the slow and laid-back judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which is responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rape cases
being reported
every single day. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
imposes severe implications of violating laws,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a rapid fall.

To conclude
, there is an urgent need for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to focus on addressing illiteracy and unemployment problems, which attribute to the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. At the same time it demands for strengthening the judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fear the repercussions of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay You have borrowed something from your friend, but it was damaged. Write a letter to your friend and say- Apologize for damaging the product- How was it damaged? - What will you do about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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