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Write a letter to a friend who you borrowed something from that got damaged In your letter Mention what you borrowed Describe how it was damaged Say how you will fix it v.1

Write a letter to a friend who you borrowed something from that got damaged In your letter Mention what you borrowed Describe how it was damaged Say how you will fix it v. 1
Whereas some argue that cars are the most adequate way for traveling in a city, others claim that the bicycle is the best way. In my opinion, while cars have the advantage of being suitable for any weather condition, the bicycle is better suited for crowded cities due to its compact size. First of all, when talking about mobility cars are a top of mind, mostly because the confort they can offer during any season. Thus, cars are broadly used by people in cities on their daily commute to work. For example, for someone who needs to respect a strict dress code at work, a car is perfectly suitable on either a rainy day or a hot day. Consequently, judging by confort for daily commute cars are with not doubt the best choice. On the other hand, many urban areas are facing problems with traffic jams caused by the high volume of cars. Hence, the bicycle shows as a welcome alternative regarding mobility in cities. For instance, bicycles reduced size represents an advantage for people not only when dealing with traffic jams but also when trying to find parking slots. Therefore, cities with many traffic jams and parking issues might find the bicycle a welcome alternative for cars. In conclusion, cars versatility comes in handy for people when commuting to work and having to deal with different weather conditions; however, urban areas are facing trouble with intense traffic and few parking slots. Hence, I believe, bicycles are the best way for traveling inside a city.
Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the most adequate way for traveling in a city, others claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is the best way. In my opinion, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have the advantage of being suitable for any weather condition, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is better suited for crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to its compact size.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when talking about mobility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are a top of mind,
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
confort
they can offer during any season.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
broadly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
on their daily commute to work.
For example
, for someone who needs to respect a strict dress code at work, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is
perfectly
suitable on either a rainy day or a hot day.
Consequently
, judging by
Possible spelling mistake found.
confort
for daily commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are with not doubt the best choice.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban areas are facing problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams caused by the high volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
as a welcome alternative regarding mobility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
size represents an advantage for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
when trying to find parking slots.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams and parking issues might find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
a welcome alternative for cars.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
versatility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in handy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when commuting to work and having to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather conditions;
however
, urban areas are facing trouble with intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and few parking slots.
Hence
, I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
are the best way for traveling inside a city.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to a friend who you borrowed something from that got damaged In your letter Mention what you borrowed Describe how it was damaged Say how you will fix it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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