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You have a problem with the neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your Letter: Describe the problemSay how long it has been a problemExplain what action you want the neighbour to take. v.1

You have a problem with the neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your Letter: Describe the problemSay how long it has been a problemExplain what action you want the neighbour to take. v. 1
Few people believe that children should be given some money as a weekly allowance to spend as they wish, and others prefer not to do it, thinking that it is not fruitful. When we hand over money to children, we make them realize the importance of expenditure and savings at an early stage of life, which will be very helpful for them as they grow old. For instance, my neighbour follows this practice and give 5 dollars per week to her child. I remember, there was a time when she wanted an expensive toy, and had to save her pocket money for 1 year in order to get it. This way not only she learnt about savings, but she also understood, which items are worth spending on. However, providing money to children can sometimes be the cause of major problems, as the parents have no control over how the child will use it. For example, one of my friend’s son used the money he received to impress others in his school, and spent it on the items he can show-off, like the latest toy or buying expensive dessert. This increased peer pressure on the poor students of his class who started demanding money from their parents as well. This is not a favourable situation for the poor family as they barely have the money to raise their kids. In conclusion, my opinion is that money should not be handed to children to make expenses on their own. Rather, it is a better idea to keep their spendings under adult supervision, so that we can guide them about the positives and negatives of their spendings. I do not think it is a wise decision to give weekly allowance to kids.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a weekly allowance to spend as they wish,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
prefer not to do it, thinking that it is not fruitful.

When we hand over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize the importance of expenditure and savings at an early stage of life, which will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for them as they grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
For instance
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
follows this practice and give 5 dollars per week to her child. I remember, there was a time when she wanted an expensive toy, and had to save her pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for 1 year in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it. This way not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
she
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
about savings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she
also
understood, which items are worth spending on.

However
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be the cause of major problems, as the parents have no control over how the child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
For example
, one of my friend’s son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he received to impress others in his school, and spent it on the items he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off, like the latest toy or buying expensive dessert. This increased peer pressure on the poor students of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their parents
as well
. This is not a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
situation for the poor family as they
barely
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to raise their kids.

In conclusion
, my opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should not
be handed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
expenses on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Rather
, it is a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
under adult supervision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can guide them about the positives and negatives of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a wise decision to give weekly allowance to kids.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have a problem with the neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your Letter: Describe the problemSay how long it has been a problemExplain what action you want the neighbour to take. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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