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Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter•Describe the problem•Say how long it has been a problem•Explain what action you want the neighbor to take v.1

Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter•Describe the problem•Say how long it has been a problem•Explain what action you want the neighbor to take v. 1
It cannot be denied that hardships and unpleasant circumstances are unavoidable facts of human life. Some people suggest that accepting the other is the others way, while other prefer making efforts to overcome troubles. There are myriad arguments used to support the claim that people should stop fighting against the unpleasant situations. Firstly, putting up with difficult problems may help people avoid being overwhelmed by negative emotions. For example, if an applicant who are being late for an important interview due to traffic jam can accept the situation and not rage at the traffic light as well as other drivers, he will absolutely arrive at the interview less distressed. Furthermore, drowning in own thoughts of trying to control the beyond ability matters may result in frustration and desperation along with unconscious actions such as suicide, drug abuse or committing crime. In contrast, some people believe that it is better to try and improve the bad circumstances. The world is full of inspiring examples of people who has been able to turn hardships into good situations by clearly understanding the value of choice. For instance, in case of being unmarked played or shortage of money, rather than looking for somebody to blame or complain to, some people may use opportunities to find new jobs, come back to school to develop valuable skills or start their own business instead. This may bring benefits to only themselves but also many people around. Besides, a problem solved will help people to build their confidence to face with the next similar issue happening. In conclusion, although there is some evidence to support the claim that it would be better to accept what happened, I believe that people should spend more time and effort to overcome the bad situations.
It cannot
be denied
that hardships and unpleasant circumstances are unavoidable facts of human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is the others way, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
prefer making efforts to overcome troubles.

There are myriad arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to support the claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
fighting against the unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Firstly
, putting up with difficult problems may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid
being overwhelmed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions.
For example
, if an applicant who are being late for an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
interview due to traffic jam can accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and not rage at the traffic light
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
drivers, he will
absolutely
arrive at the interview less distressed.
Furthermore
, drowning in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts of trying to control the beyond ability matters may result in frustration and desperation along with unconscious actions such as suicide, drug abuse or committing crime.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is better to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstances. The world is full of inspiring examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who has been able to turn hardships into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
by
clearly
understanding the value of choice.
For instance
, in case of
being unmarked
played or shortage of money,
rather
than looking for somebody to blame or complain to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
opportunities to find new jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to school to develop valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
instead
. This may bring benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around.
Besides
, a problem solved will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to build their confidence to face with the
next
similar issue happening.

In conclusion
, although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence to support the claim that it would be better to accept what happened, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend more time and effort to overcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter•Describe the problem•Say how long it has been a problem•Explain what action you want the neighbor to take v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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