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You had recently joined a morning course but now you can’t continue as you have got a job. Write a letter to the course instructor explaining why you can’t continue the course, how it can be difficult for you to manage your job and the course etc. You v.1

You had recently joined a morning course but now you can’t continue as you have got a job. Write a letter to the course instructor explaining why you can’t continue the course, how it can be difficult for you to manage your job and the course etc. You v. 1
It is quite obvious that, the manner of not having children after marriage has its disadvantages, as well as its advantages. The wise person is the one who makes an excellent utilization of its benefits and avoids its drawbacks. This will outline some of the arguments around the pros and cons of such issue. On one hand, some couples argue that, the deficits of having children outweigh its benefits for the following reasons. Firstly, the fear of failing in growing up the children properly, because the parents have no experience in how to take care about the food and health of younger and that will increase the responsibility of parents towards their children and increase the feel of worry about them. Moreover, the couple tends to have a leisure time with each other. For example, if a couple got married in their early twenties, they would spend more luxury time in travelling and discovering new places. Nevertheless, other couples hold a totally different concept which is, having children is a matter of commitment and reliability and they have their own rationale. First, the main purpose of getting married is to get children to take care of them. Furthermore, build a new generation that can influence positively in the society. For instance, when parents acquire children, educate them well, take care of their health, and keep them fit, they may become athletes or physicians or even politicians. To summarize, what seem advantageous for some people, could be drawbacks for others. There is nothing absolute. Concerning me, I totally agree with the last concept which believes that, the advantages of having children surpass its deficits.
It is quite obvious that, the manner of not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after marriage has its disadvantages,
as well
as its advantages. The wise person is the one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an excellent utilization of its benefits and avoids its drawbacks. This will outline
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
arguments around the pros and cons of such issue.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
argue that, the deficits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
outweigh its benefits for the following reasons.
Firstly
, the fear of failing in growing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the parents have no experience in how to take care about the food and health of younger and that will increase the responsibility of parents towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and increase the feel of worry about them.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
tends to have a leisure time with each other.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married in their early twenties, they would spend more luxury time in travelling and discovering new places.

Nevertheless
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
hold a
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concept which is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a matter of commitment and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reliability and
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rationale.
First
, the main purpose of getting married is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take care of them.
Furthermore
, build a new generation that can influence
positively
in the society.
For instance
, when parents acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, educate them well, take care of their health, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit, they may become athletes or physicians or even politicians.

To summarize
, what seem advantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, could be drawbacks for others. There is nothing absolute. Concerning me, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the last concept which believes that, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
surpass its deficits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay You had recently joined a morning course but now you can’t continue as you have got a job. Write a letter to the course instructor explaining why you can’t continue the course, how it can be difficult for you to manage your job and the course etc. You v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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