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People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v.1

People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v. 1
The major purpose of education for children, especially in early age, is to help them discover and achieve their potentials. As their parents and teachers, we should provide them enough space for children to think and act freely. Personally, I agree this idea above, but we should also know that too much freedom for them could lead to an adverse consequence. To begin with, some people support the idea that it is beneficial for the development of children to express their ideas independently at early age. Because it’s a good way for children to build their confidence and also to give opportunities to tackle problems by themselves. Besides, the abilities of critical thinking and problem-solving independently could benefit for their future study and career. In other words, it is necessary to be succeeded with these characters. Therefore, expressing independently is essential for the development of children. On the other hand, young children cannot well adapt the social norm without guidance of parents. Given the fact children have no idea about social regulation or courtesy, they tend to do what they want in the public if their parents allow them. For instance, some children like running, chasing, and screaming in the restaurant, which not only disturb other customers also could embarrass their parents. So, parents should educate them the social regulation and restrict their behaviour in case such happens in their adulthood. Thus, to some extent, it is necessary to limit children’s behaviour to avoid them forming bad habits. In conclusion, we should realize that thinking independently is a merit for young children, which might help children build confidence and acquire the ability of critical thinking. But we also need to alert that without parents’ guidance children could be easily to form bad habits.
The major purpose of education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
in early age, is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them discover and achieve their potentials. As their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers, we should provide them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and act
freely
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should
also
know that too much freedom for them could lead to an adverse consequence.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that it is beneficial for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
at early age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it’s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to build their confidence and
also
to give opportunities to tackle problems by themselves.
Besides
, the abilities of critical thinking and problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
could benefit for their future study and career.
In other words
, it is necessary to
be succeeded
with these characters.
Therefore
, expressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
is essential for the development of children.

On the other hand
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot well adapt the social norm without guidance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about social regulation or courtesy, they tend to do what they want in the public if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like running, chasing, and screaming in the restaurant, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disturb other customers
also
could embarrass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should educate them the social regulation and restrict their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in case such happens in their adulthood.
Thus
, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it is necessary to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to avoid them forming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.

In conclusion
, we should realize that thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
is a merit for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
build confidence and acquire the ability of critical thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
also
need to alert that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
guidance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be
easily
to form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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